Friday Dweebing, Wrapping up the DWEEBweek

EDITOR'S NOTE: IF I WERE EMPLOYED FULL-TIME, FRIDAYS WOULD HOLD THEIR OLD MYSTERY AND JENESAISJOIEDEVIVRE. AS IT IS, IT MEANS A FEW DAYS OFF FROM THE PRESSURES OF QOTD'DOM. (NOT MUCH BREAKING NEWS ON THE WEEKEND. PHEW).

BEFORE I GO BACK TO STARWARSING, HERE'S SOME REMAINING ODDSNENDS LEFT OVER FROM YESTERDAY'S DELUGE:

TELEVISION NEWS:
Plot Points Revealed for Tarantino's CSI Episode
CSIFiles.com has posted the first plot information on "Grave Danger," the upcoming fifth-season CSI finale directed by Quentin Tarantino.

The episode was written by showrunner Carol Mendelsohn, CSI creator Anthony Zuiker, and executive producer Naren Shankar, based on a story by Quentin Tarantino.

The episode is scheduled to air on Thursday the 19th of May. EDITOR'S NOTE: HMMM..THAT DATE RINGS A BELL. CAN'T QUITE PUT MY FINGER ON WHY.....

***SPOILER ALERT***


In the episode, main character Nick Stokes is kidnapped by someone with an apparent grudge against the CSIs. By the time he wakes up again, he's trapped in a coffin, together with his loaded handgun and a tape recorder with a message telling him it's probably best to kill himself, as he's going to die anyway. There's also a webcam in the coffin, which transmits an image back to the CSI lab... EDITOR'S NOTE: A VERY SCARY SCENARIO. IT'D BE EVEN SCARIER IF WE HADN'T JUST SEEN SOMETHING SIMILAR ON "ALIAS".

MOVIE NEWS:
New Pics from THE ISLAND
Blackfilm.com has posted some new images from the upcoming film, THE ISLAND. The DreamWorks Pictures' film stars Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Djimon Hounsou, Michael Clarke Duncan, and Steve Buscemi. EDITOR'S NOTE: SOME YUMMY ONES.....















Michael BayEDITOR'S NOTE: MICHAEL BAY USUALLY MEANS SOUND AND FURY SIGNIFYING SOUND AND FURY. BUT GREAT CAST, SO I'M NOT SURE I CARE. is directing the sci-fi thriller about a resident of a seemingly utopian but contained facility in the mid-21st century who hopes to be chosen to go to the “The Island”—reportedly the last uncontaminated spot on the planet. EDITOR'S NOTE: NO WHERE NEAR MY HOUSE, IN OTHER WORDS.

Routh in New SUPERMAN Suit
BrandonRouth.com and USA Today have released pictures and information about the new Superman suit for Bryan Singer's SUPERMAN RETURNS.



Per USA Today, the suit has a few "subtle changes":

- The S insignia is slightly smaller and higher on his chest, and instead of being painted on, it's more of a three-dimensional plate.

- An insignia has been added to the belt buckle.

- The shades of the suit are slightly darker. The belt is more golden, and the cape is a deep scarlet. EDITOR'S NOTE: CLEARLY SUPERMAN NOW HAS A GAY DESIGNER WORKING FOR HIM?

Portman to buy Helm's 'Emporium'
Natalie Portman is in negotiations to star in "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium" for Mandate Pictures.

The film will mark the directorial debut of Zach Helm, who will direct from his own script.

Helm recently wrote "Stranger Than Fiction" for Mandate, which goes into production Monday.Richard Gladstein is the producer through his Film Colony shingle, along with James Garavente. Mandate's head of production Nathan Kahane and Mandate's creative executive Jim Miller are overseeing development of the film. Mandate is fully financing "Emporium" and handling worldwide sales for the film.

Set in a strange and magical toy store, "Emporium" is a story about growing up and believing in the unbelievable.EDITOR'S NOTE: WELL,SO, STRICTLY SPEAKING, NOT GROWING UP. (HMM???)

"We are thrilled to be back in business with Zach Helm on another truly original and life-affirming story and grateful that he has entrusted us again to help bring his magic to the screen," Kahane said. "It is a testament to Zach's voice that we are in negotiations with Natalie."

"Zach is a unique and talented writer, and I'm thrilled to be working with him on what I imagine will be the first of many films he'll be directing," Gladstein said. "Natalie's response to the script has been brilliant, and she is the ideal actor around whom to build a wonderful ensemble."

Portman most recently was seen in Mike Nichols' "Closer," for which she received an Academy Award nomination for best supporting actress after winning a Golden Globe in the same category. Portman has starred as the female lead, Queen Amidala, in George Lucas' blockbuster "Star Wars" prequels and next can be seen reprising her role in "Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith." Portman's credits include Zach Braff's "Garden State." She is currently shooting "V for Vendetta" and will shoot "Emporium" after completing "Goya's Ghosts."

Sony Pictures recently acquired Helm's "Stranger Than Fiction" from Mandate and will release it next year. Helm also is writing "The Disassociate," which is being developed for producer Lindsay Doran. Helm is the author of the plays "Last Chance for a Slow Dance" and "Good Canary."

GRIMM Look at Upcoming Gilliam Film
Blackfilm.com is offering some images from Terry Gilliam's soon to be released THE BROTHERS GRIMM.









The script was written by Ehren Kruger and the film stars Matt Damon, Heath Ledger, Jonathan Pryce, & Monica Bellucci.

EDITOR'S NOTE: AND SPEAKING OF WHICH, SOME VERY GROOVY ART THAT PREPPED THE PICS ABOVE.

Dreams: Guy Dyas opens up his Brothers Grimm sketchbook
...edited by Phil Stubbs
In Summer 2005, Terry Gilliam's project The Brothers Grimm is to reach cinema screens.

Filmed in Prague, it stars Matt Damon and Heath Ledger as the brothers Will and Jake Grimm.

The script is written by Ehren Kruger and follows the Grimm Brothers as they try to make money by conning people into believing that monsters are terrorising their villages. But the brothers are forced to deal with a real curse which is causing children to disappear.

Guy Dyas, the film's Production Designer, shares with us many of his Grimm sketches and provides a commentary on each one.

Below the images, Guy talks to Dreams further about his work on Grimm.

Cavaldi's Carriage


Early pencil sketch for the carriage which is meant to be Cavaldi's idea of a first-class mode of transport. This Carriage was custom-built and the end result is quite unique, very macabre and not unlike a funeral coach. At the end of our shoot it was given to Mario Luraschi, our horse stunts supervisor, so I imagine it now resides somewhere on his property in Northern France. Cavaldi is played by Peter Stormare

The Tower - External


These are early concept sketches for our "Tower of Charot" - inspired from the Rapunzel fairy tale. In our tale, this tower has been abandoned for hundreds of years and of course the only way to access the inside is through the window at the top...

The Tower - Internal


By far, the tower interior was our most ornate set. We created original floor to ceiling paintings and designed furniture such as the Queen's bed and throne.The Queen is played by Monica Bellucci

The Village


Creating the Marbaden village set was tremendous fun. We designed approximately twenty different houses including a church, stables, bridges and pathways. Many of the houses were used for interior scenes as well and the overall result was very realistic.

Delatombe's Dungeon


This is an early concept sketch I did for Delatombe's torture dungeon. The more Terry and I worked on this design, the more complex it became! Amongst the torture machines there was a 12-piece orchestra as well as a team of cooks running around preparing various meals. Delatombe is played by Jonathan Pryce

Karlstadt Town


This is one of my colour studies for Karlstadt and it shows our design for the town square. We built this entire facade as part of our set for the scenes where the Brothers Grimm spend the night in a small tavern.

Karlstadt Watermill


This is the very first sketch I did for the film and it shows our design for the Karlstadt Watermill. We ended up building it almost entirely as seen in this drawing on the studio backlot.

The Woodsman


This is Terry Gilliam's sketch of the woodsman character

Interview with Guy Dyas, March 2005
Phil Stubbs: Tell me a bit about yourself... where are you from, where did you study, and where do you live now?

Guy Dyas: I'm from England and I grew up in South Devon. I moved to London where I got a degree from Chelsea School of Art and then my Masters from the Royal College of Art. I was then hired by Sony as an industrial designer and I lived in Tokyo for several years. Nowadays I split my time between Los Angeles and Europe.

What do you enjoy about your job?

I feel really lucky to be doing the job that I do, as I've always loved films but also building things. Being a production designer allows me to combine both of those passions.

How did you get involved with The Brothers Grimm?

I met Terry hot on the heels of finishing my first feature film as a production designer and I think I must have been on a shortlist of people he wanted to meet for Grimm. Terry's films are some of my favorite films of all time so I knew that being able to work with him would be an incredible lifetime experience. I still remember the impact of seeing Brazil as a student at the Royal College of Art. It was being shown as part of a special film series called Grand Illusions and it's such a masterpiece in filmmaking that it really opened my eyes to the art of production design.

Please describe your working relationship with Terry

I remember that at the very beginning, even before Terry got the full funding for Grimm, I was working out of Terry's office in London and I thought I was still on a bit of trial period. During that time I sketched as much as possible, trying to create some set-pieces that would really get Terry excited. That whole period was great for many reasons, it was all about getting ideas down on paper while not letting any budget constraints creep in yet! Terry has endless energy, he's very hands-on and he draws like a god! It's really easy to work for someone you wholeheartedly admire and want to impress.

What are you most proud of on this picture?

I was really excited by the source material, the original brothers Grimm fairy tales, which combined with Terry's unique vision helped us create a variety of amazing sets. Everyone really seemed to like our Marbaden village set. Everything on this film was a team effort and I saw it as a great opportunity to be able to work with all of Terry's longtime collaborators - his creative family.

What resources / influences proved most useful in the design?

Being in the Czech Republic, where the architecture is so unique and well preserved, was a definite advantage. It was the perfect place to do a film like Grimm and often Terry would take us on location scouts not so much to look for places to shoot but to experience the architecture and to draw inspiration from it. One night in the middle of winter, Terry lead us after dinner on a walking tour of Prague, it was starting to snow and we ended up by the famous Charles IV Bridge, which for once was deserted by tourists. This midnight walk through the streets of Prague truly gave us the impression that we had gone back in time. It's those moments that in retrospect turn out to be the most inspiring.

Tell me a bit about how the village was designed and constructed.

Based on my initial sketches it took us about 10 weeks to build our village set and forest on the Barrandov studio backlot. We used very traditional methods, local thatchers, carpenters, stone masons and wood carvers. I had a great crew so the result was a mix of all of our efforts combined. When choosing where to build our village, Terry and I decided that we should use a piece of land with a 280 degree view which had never been built on before. We knew that by building our sets on this very uneven terrain we would add some extra character to our village. Out of this process also came the need for us to build bridges and new foot paths which gave the set a whole new level of reality.

How much time did you have from research through to design and build of the sets?

We were on the film for almost a year so we had a good development phase, especially during my research period working with Terry in London. I think that in the end we had about 60 huge sets & set-pieces to create so it was all about running around in order to get everything ready on time.

What are the best practices to avoid running over time deadlines and art department budgets? EDITOR'S NOTE: NOT THAT GILLIAM HAS MUCH EXPERIENCE AT BUDGET ADHERENCE (AHEM).

Making a plan and being able to stick with it because as anyone who's ever made a film will tell you, unpredictable stuff always happens. For me, having a director with Terry's experience and tenacity was invaluable. Terry knows what he wants down to every last detail and yet he's also able to make split-second creative decisions when necessary. It was very much full-steam-ahead working with Terry and I loved it.

What is your involvement with the post-production CGI?

I've seen some photos of the miniatures and matte shots and it looks great, but beyond having done some initial artwork for the set extensions I haven't been very involved in the VFX phase.

Have you any projects in the pipeline?

I'm currently in Sydney production-designing a new Superman film for Warner Brothers called Superman Returns. It comes out next year and it's very much in the line of the Richard Donner films with Christopher Reeve. Design-wise, it's an exciting opportunity to recreate Metropolis, a sort of stylized New York City.

OTHER STUFF:
GOF trailer to debut before 'Kicking & Screaming'
On Friday May 13, you can catch the entire first official trailer for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in theatres, right before the Will Ferrell movie Kicking & Screaming.

We're guessing the trailer will be available online that day as well.EDITOR'S NOTE: THANK GOODNESS. CAUSE I JUST DON'T THINK I LOVE HARRY AND GANG ENOUGH TO BRAVE A WILL FERRELL MOVIE.

OddsNEnds & Uncle Walt (catching up on Non-SW, quatre)

FANTASTIC Marketing on the Way
20th Century Fox's FANTASTIC FOUR "will benefit from an innovative and extensive cross-marketing program that leverages how important music and video games are to each other."

It has been announced there will be "games from Activision, a soundtrack from Wind-up Records that might include tracks from the game, action figures from Marvel's Toy Biz Worldwide subsidiary, and gameplay and music videos under consideration as bonus features on the eventual DVD release from Fox Home Entertainment."

Four bands (Taking Back Sunday, Jurassic 5, Explosion,and Go Betty Go) were hired to each write a song about a "Fantastic Four" character and these were combined with actual game footage for music video style trailers.

In addition, Toy Biz will release an extensive action figure line.

Sex & Sci-Fi & Rock ‘n Roll

EDITOR'S NOTE: THERE ARE FEW THINGS (IN THIS GALAXY, ANYWAY) SCARIER THAN A MERGING OF STAR TREK AND SOFT-CORE PORN. MAKES MONASTICISM AND CELIBACY COME ALIVE AS AN OPTION, EH?
Get out your Parental Advisory stickers – Warp 11’s new CD has been assimilated from all things STAR TREK into a massive powerblast of sex, sci-fi, and rock ‘n roll.

Based in Sacramento, California, Warp 11 has made the rounds of science fiction conventions, including a live concert featured in the movie TREKKIES 2. Comprised of Chief Engineer Brian Moore (vocals, guitar), Captain Karl Miller (vocals, bass), Chief Science Officer Kiki Stockhammer (vocals, keyboards), and Chief Medical Officer Jeff Hewitt (vocals, drums), the band’s third album, Boldly Go Down On Me, EDITOR'S NOTE: OH DEAR ME continues the group’s exploration of high-energy punk-based rock and roll fueled by explicit lyrics and a healthy dose of testosterone-amped-up STAR TREK mythology,EDITOR'S NOTE: BACK THAT UP A SEC. TESTOSTERONE AND STAR TREK? MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE? DISCUSS. with songs as provocative as “Rage Against the Federation,” “Welcome to Our Cube,” “She Make It So,” and the title track. EDITOR'S NOTE: I HAVE NOT BEEN BRAVE ENOUGH TO CHECK OUT THE WEBSITE. CAVEAT SURFING.
http://www.warp11.com/

UPCOMING BABYLON 5 NOVELS:
Mongoose Publishing is proud to announce an agreement with Warner Brothers to produce an all new range of novels and graphic novels for Babylon 5. They promise some exciting tales lined up, delving into never-before- explored areas of the Babylon 5 universe and expanding the storyline beyond the TV series. Releases will begin appearing in Q4 2005. EDITOR'S NOTE: NOTHING LIKE STRIKING WHILE THE IRON IS STONE-COLD. I WONDER IF THE BRAIN TRUSTS HERE WILL WAKE UP TO MAKING SOME MORE B5 TV, ONCE THEY REALIZE THE BOOKS KINDA PIGGYBACK ON THE SHOW ITSELF?

GALACTICA – SEASON ONE Soundtrack Announced
La-La Land Records announces its upcoming summer 2005 release of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: THE SERIES - SEASON ONE. “A knockout collection of the best musical moments from the first season of the smash hit Sci Fi Channel television series,” says the label. Also coming later this summer, FARSCAPE CLASSICS: VOLUME TWO - another special, Limited Edition release of two more complete episode scores from the series.
www.lalalandrecords.com

Theron Lends Voice to "Flux" Game



Charlize Theron will provide her voice and likness to Majesco's "Aeon Flux" video game.
The game, which is actuall a prequel to the film, will link together the animated TV series and the live-action movie that will be released this fall. The game will "introduce new action elements, including speed stealth attacks and the ability to slow time through 'flux,' which will enhance the player's arsenal of high-tech weapons and gadgets."

Technicolor, studios in d-cinema deal
Marking a significant step forward in the rollout of digital cinema, Walt Disney Studios, Warner Bros. Pictures and Sony Pictures have signed a deal with Thomson's Technicolor Digital Cinema unit, which will facilitate their transition to d-cinema.

Joe Berchtold, president of Technicolor Electronic Content Distribution Services, will manage the process for the studios. Berchtold and Technicolor declined comment, and none of the studios would confirm the development, but according to multiple sources, Technicolor is set to play the role of third-party integrator and will develop a proposed economic model into a full-fledged business plan.

The plan is expected to include specifics about financing, usage and equipment, among other details.

Just as significantly, the deal would allow the technology company to approach other studios that have not yet signed up -- chief among them Universal Pictures and 20th Century Fox -- to encourage them to join the three studios.

All the studios have avoided dealing directly with each other out of concern of running afoul of antitrust regulations EDITOR'S NOTE: IN OTHER WORDS, HOW DO WE MAKE THIS TECHNOLOGY PAY BY ALL THE CORPORATE GIANTS PLAYING BALL, BUT WITHOUT THE APPEARANCE OF COLLUSION?

Awards shows need to attract more fans
By Robert J. Dowling, editor-in-chief and publisher
When you go to the racetrack, the horses are always fun to watch, but by the eighth race they all seem to look the same.

Put a bet on a horse, and all of a sudden your interest goes up substantially.

Buy a horse and your mind will be devoid of anything else when it is racing because you have invested in the process.

A few weeks ago I moderated a panel featuring nine actors and three producers from ABC's big hit "Lost" as part of the Museum of Television & Radio's annual William S. Paley Television Festival. To the 650 hooting and hollering "Lost" devotees who paid $29 to get in -- some even waited as long as 12 hours in the DGA's lobby to buy tickets -- this event was the equal to owning the horse.

Nothing else was on their mind. Introducing the cast members was like introducing the Lakers at the NBA Finals.

Afterward, more than half of the audience in the DGA Theatre stampeded down to the stage for autographs and pictures.

I was told by the festival organizers that the crowd for the "Desperate Housewives" panel a few days earlier was even more enthusiastic.

This only goes to prove, beyond any doubt, that a hit TV show is a cultural phenomenon like nothing else. The fan-atics can't get enough.

It's the same with feature films. During a panel last month at the ShoWest convention in Las Vegas, a speaker told the crowd that the first "Lord of the Rings" film spawned some 430 fan Web sites. With "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King," the number soared to a staggering 340,000 (that's thousand) sites.

The message from all this is clear: People love movies and TV programs, and they'll go to any extent to manifest that devotion any way they can. It's the stuff that fuels the entertainment industry.

It's fandom that creates a market for "director's cut" DVD box sets and puts "The Incredibles" characters on Pop Tarts boxes and on and on.EDITOR'S NOTE: PLUS, FOOD TASTES BETTER WHEN A MOVIE CHARACTER'S FACE IS ON THE BOX. (WELL, IT DOES).

So why is it, then, that even the rabid fans don't seem to care much about the industry's premier awards shows? Ratings for this year's Golden Globes and Grammy telecasts were down sharply; viewership of the Oscars dropped off by about 2 million from last year, when it was a coronation for "Return of the King" as best picture.

But isn't something wrong if it's clear that fans care so much about entertainment product yet care so little about the awards? That seems kind of like loving horse racing but not caring about the Kentucky Derby. If you had a horse running you wouldn't miss it, unless you just didn't like the whole Derby experience.

Maybe the biggest problem with awards shows these days is that even the fans have decided they just don't like the experience. And maybe that's because there's too much attention paid to the all the hoopla surrounding awards and not enough to the product that's being honored.

Before and after the Oscars, all I read and heard about was length of the show, the choice of Chris Rock as host and its wobbly ratings.

During the ceremony, awards were given out in the aisle, and nominees ganged up on stage. Neither worked.

What was missing for me was the celebration of the films. Where were the clips? The behind-the-scenes glimpses of the making of the films? Where were the anecdotes about the craftsmanship that went into each frame?

To tighten up the Primetime Emmy Awards show, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences was prepared to drop the awards for writing and directing in the movie and miniseries field from the main live telecast, along with some other award categories.

That brought an understandable outcry from the WGA and DGA. So the academy came up with a compromise to prerecord the nominees' acceptance speeches in all writing and directing categories so that the winner's tape can be played as he or she walks to the stage to collect their statuette.

As viewers, we all know that most nominees have a slip of paper in their pocket with a speech scratched out in advance. When and if they do hear their name called, most winners go to pieces, on live television. But imagine taping your comments days before you know whether you've won or not. All spontaneity is lost.

I don't think the way to draw more fans to awards show telecasts is to hurry up the writing and directing winners. Those two disciplines are the lifeblood, the essence of filmed entertainment.If anything, awards show producers should look to use the telecast to illuminate the role that writers and directors play so that the public gains more recognition of all craftspeople.

Instead of the WGA and DGA accepting the television academy's compromise, there should be a committee formed with representatives from each of ATAS' branches to figure out how to make the show all about the product.

When the consumer truly knows who made their favorite show and what it took to get it made, the fan-atics and many more will care about who wins the awards. EDITOR'S NOTE: EXCELLENT POINTS. ALTHOUGH DUMBING IT ALL DOWN IS THE NORM NOWADAYS, AND THESE SUGGESTIONS WILL LIKELY FALL ON DEAF EARS. (NOT TO BE CYNICAL, BUT THE ONLY THING DUMBER THAN LARGE NUMBERS OF TODAY'S AUDIENCES ARE THE ASSUMPTIONS MADE ABOUT THOSE AUDIENCES BY THE PROGRAMMERS).


BMW MORPHS ONLINE FILM CONCEPT INTO COMIC BOOKS
Employs Top Industry Artists to Create Car-Centric Graphic Novels
BMW of North America, which scored a major publicity coup with its groundbreaking online film series The Hire, has turned the story line's Driver character into a branded entertainment comic book series.

BMW contracted with the industry's top comic book artists for the series.

The idea was that if Hollywood has been able to harness the appeal of comic books to lure moviegoers into theaters, why not use graphic novels to bring buyers into BMW showrooms?

Top industry artists
And just as the film series turned to top Hollywood directors such as Tony Scott (Top Gun), John Woo (Mission: Impossible 2) and John Frankenheimer (Ronin), the comic books recruited stars in the comic book world, including Kurt Busiek (Conan), Steven Grant (X-Men, Mage), Katsuhiro Otomo (Akira), Mark Waid (Kingdom Come), Karl Kesel (Fantastic Four) and Ariel Olivetti (Avengers). Matt Wagner (Grendel) wrote and drew the first comic, dubbed Scandal, in which the Driver is hired to sneak a rich man’s spoiled daughter out of town.

Fallon, MinneapolisBMW's ad agency, Publicis Groupe's Fallon, Minneapolis, one of the key architects of the online films, handled the comic book project as well.

Last year, the automaker signed a deal with Dark Horse Comics to publish six comic books based on the character, played in The Hire shorts by Clive Owen (Closer, The Bourne Identity) as a mysterious driver who is thrown into comedic or dangerous situations thanks to his passengers.

Each installation of the comic book series features a single model vehicle that’s recognizable as a BMW, but purposely futuristic.

The fourth installment of the series, Tycoon, went on sale in mid-March. Its plot revolves around an international entrepreneur who is saved from enemies by a protagonist, the owner of a futuristic-looking BMW sedan. Award-winning comics writers Mr. Busiek and Mr. Grant penned the latest story, featuring the handiwork of artist Francisco Ruiz Velasco.

Artist dos and don'ts
Artists were given a few dos and don’ts, such as avoid fiery deaths in cars, especially in a BMW, EDITOR'S NOTE: YEAH. I CAN SEE WHERE THAT MIGHT BE SOMETHING BMW WOULD WANT TO AVOID. GIGGLE...and not to define the Driver character to much and leave him mysterious.

“This type of comic material is very hot right now,” said Dark Horse President Mike Richardson, whose Milwaukie, Ore., company also publishes Sin City and its best-selling Hellboy line –- both of which have been adapted as movies. Dark Horse’s readership is typically made up of 18- to 25-year-old males -- a demographic of particular interest to BMW.

These readers like “condensed reading,” said Jim McDowell, BMW’s longtime vice president of marketing who moved to run sibling Mini USA April 1.

So far, BMW is pleased with the unusual marketing effort.

“We do a number of really fun, controlled experiments, and this has really met our expectations,” said Mr. McDowell, who was also behind launching BMW’s online film series.

BMW gets comic book royalties
He added that the comic book series hasn’t cost the automaker very much, if anything. That’s because BMW gets royalties from every issue sold. EDITOR'S NOTE: CLEVER CLEVER CLEVER. IF ANY OF MY AD CLIENTS WERE THIS SHARP, I MIGHT STILL BE ENJOYING WORKING IN ADVERTISING.

Each issue has a publishing run of between 20,000 and 30,000 copies, retailing for $2.99 each. On a retail site owned by Dark Horse's Mr. Richardson, Things From Another World or tfaw.com, buyers can get 10% off the third and fourth issues. The titles are also available at some 3,500 specialty stores across the country.

Dark Horse is the nation’s fourth-largest comic book publisher. BMW let the company decide how many units of the books to publish and how to promote the series. Beyond its own Web site, BMW did not develop other integrated marketing efforts around the comics.

Bound paperback compilation planned
The first issue debuted last August. Dark Horse Comics will offer a bound paperback compilation of all six issues later this year at bookstores. BMW’s short film series, which launched online in 2001, still plays on BMWFilms.com. All eight films are also available on DVD.

The marketer spent $161 million in measured media in 2004, according to TNS Media Intelligence.

Ian Beavis, a veteran auto ad executive who now runs his own marketing consulting firm, called BMW’s comics “cool,” saying they would appeal to a younger crowd. But while comics are currently a hot commodity, he doesn’t believe the automaker’s comic books will generate the same kind of buzz and emotional connection that its online film series did. EDITOR'S NOTE: MEANWHILE, MR. MARKETING CONSULTANT (THOSE WHO CAN, DO; THOSE WHO CAN'T, CONSULT), MEASURED MEDIA AVENUES ARE RAPIDLY LOSING GROUND TO THE TECHNOLOGY AIMED AT COMPLETELY SKIRTING ADVERTISING. AND BMW'S TARGET AUDIENCE IS AMOST CERTAINLY IN THE FOREFRONT OF THAT TECH-SAVVY CROWD. AT LEAST BMW IS OUT THERE TRYING NEW THINGS, AND NOT FLOCKING LEMMING-LIKE FROM THE SAME CLIFF SO MANY OTHER ADVERTISERS ARE CURRENTLY FLOPPING OFF.

AND YES, I'M BITTER. BUT THE DEATH OF CREATIVE THINKING (AND THE MALIGNING OF ITS FEW REMAINING DISCIPLES BY LESSER LIGHTS) DOES THAT TO ME.

HARUMPH.

Study: Gamer Demo Expands Beyond Core Males
The gamer demographic is expanding beyond its core young male audience to include more women and older adults, and video games in general are becoming far more pervasive as the medium approaches mass market status, according to a Benchmark study released Thursday by Nielsen Entertainment’s Interactive Group. EDITOR'S NOTE: SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN GOING ON FOR QUITE SOME TIME. NICE OF THE RESEARCH TO FINALLY CATCH UP, EH?

The results of the study may go along way toward diminishing the gamer geek stereotype.

Among the more eye-opening statistics: nearly 40 percent of gamers are female, and nearly a quarter of gamers are over the age of 40. EDITOR'S NOTE: OF COURSE, THEY NEED TO COME WITH SHIELDS FOR THE CONSOLES FOR WHEN GEEZERS START TO DROOL ON THEIR JOYSTICKS. (SO TO SPEAK....)

These expanding demographics may be the result of video games' ubiquity.

According to the study, roughly 40 percent of U.S. households own at least one of the three major gaming devices: personal computers, home consoles (like Xbox or Play Station 2 ) or a handheld devices. A sizable number of obsessive gamers appear to be platform agnostic, as 23 percent reported owning all three types of devices.Consoles are the most popular: 89 percent of those who report having a gaming device own a console, versus 65 percent for PCs and 36 percent for handhelds.

Overall, active gamers are quite active, according to the study. Typically most spend approximately 5.2 hours per week playing by themselves EDITOR'S NOTE: GIGGLE. YES, WELL THAT EXPLAINS THE DROOL ON THE JOYSTICK, I GUESS. (SORRY). and over three hours playing socially.

Interestingly, women tend to spend more of their game time playing with friends and family, while both men and women over the age of 45 spend the vast majority of their gaming time playing alone.

Spending on gaming products is a still concentrated among males, who report shopping for games to be just behind buying DVDs as far as where they spend the most money per month. For both African-Americans and Hispanics, games and mobile services are ranked number one in monthly spending, perhaps indicating an underserved market.

The Benchmark study, the first of its kind for Nielsen Entertainment’s Interactive Group, surveyed 1,500 respondents via random digital dial frame during January and February 2005 .

Nielsen plans a second installment for release in third quarter of 2005.

Women Outnumber Men Online
Women continue to outnumber men online, and the gap should continue to expand, says a new report from eMarketer.

Having exceeded the male online population as of 2002, women accounted for nearly 52 percent of Internet users in 2004. eMarketer estimates 87.8 million women were online in 2004, versus 82.3 million men.

While the 2004 figures closely represent the current U.S. general population disparity, by 2008, women are projected to account for 53 percent of the online population, outnumbering men by roughly 10 million users.

"While the ratio of females to males in the general population is expected to hold steady through 2009, that won't be the case on the Internet," said eMarketer Senior Analyst Debra Aho Williamson, the report's author. "Cultural, societal and Internet business trends are combining to shift the balance toward women. Because of these factors, eMarketer projects that the female majority online will become more pronounced over the next five years --and that will have a transformative effect on content, commerce and marketing."

As late as 1997, males made up 65 percent of all Internet users. EDITOR'S NOTE: WE'RE NUMBER 1! WE'RE NO.1!!

WALT AND HIS PUBLIC
What did Uncle Walt have to say about the people who loved his work?


Walt Disney in the Happiest Place on Earth: He couldn't have done it without people like you.
EDITOR'S NOTE: AWW SHUCKS. IT WEREN'T NOTHIN, REALLY.

With Disneyland's 50th Anniversary celebration gathering steam, we at the Insider (EDITOR'S NOTE: THE DISNEY INSIDER MAGAZINE) thought it would be nice to take a moment to reflect on the guy who started it all.

Walt Disney is widely known as a dreamer and an innovator, an idealist who followed his vision to create wonderful things. EDITOR'S NOTE: AND ALSO AS A HOMOPHOBE AND A ANTI-SEMITE....... BUT HE'S DEAD, SO WHAT THE HECK.

But it's easy to forget one important piece of the pie - Walt's dreams were about delighting people - children and adults alike. And he never forgot how important his public was. He wanted his movies, his television shows, and most especially his beloved Disneyland and the parks that followed, to please everyone as much as they pleased him.

We'd like to share with you some of Walt's words, courtesy of the Walt Disney Family Museum, on the importance of his public.

Throughout his life, Walt Disney always valued the response of his audience, and went to great lengths to understand what the people wanted to see, and how he could stay in close touch.

Here are some quotes from Walt on his public:

‘The Key Is the Public’ "The public has been my friend. The public discovered Mickey Mouse before the critics and before the theatrical people. It was only after the public discovered it, did the theatrical people become interested in it; and did the critics become interested. Up to that time, the critic wouldn't have bothered using any space, you see? So it all comes down that newspapers and people who write for newspapers are only interested in people after the public is interested. The key to it is the public."

‘The Spirit of Adventure’ "I go right straight out for the adult. As I say, for the honest adult. Not the sophisticates. Not these characters that think they know everything and you can't thrill them anymore. I go for those people that retain that something, you know, no matter how old they are; that little spirit of adventure, that appreciation of the world of fantasy and things like that. I go for them. I play to them. There's a lot of them. You know?" EDITOR'S NOTE: AND HERE WE ARE!!! WOOHOO!!! DWEEBS ROCK.

‘Direct to the Public with Television’ "I have more latitude in television than I ever had before. If I had an idea for something, I had to then go and try to sell it to the distributors, to the theater men, and everyone else. With television, I just get my gang together and we say we think that will be something interesting -- let's do it. And I go direct to that public."

‘The Park Reflects What People Like’ A picture is a thing that once you wrap it up and turn it over to Technicolor, you're through. EDITOR'S NOTE: UNLESS YOU'RE UNCLE GEORGE, THAT IS. The last picture I just finished, the one I just wrapped up a few weeks ago --- it's gone. I can't touch it. There's things in it I don't like. I can't do anything about it. I wanted something live. Something that could grow. Something I could keep plussing with ideas. The park is that. Not only can I add things, but even the trees will keep growing. The thing will get more beautiful every year. And as I find out what the public like or they don't like, I have to apply that to some other thing. I can't change that picture. So that's why I wanted that park."

‘Words of Inspiration’ "We're finding some wonderful words of Mr. Lincoln that are still prophetic today. And I think it's going to be a great moment for the public when they can sit and hear Mr. Lincoln talk about some of the things. What is Liberty? You know? The rights and the obligations that we have and all of that. I think it's needed today, too."

TV or NOT TV. Yes, TV (catching up on NON-SW, tres)

'Mars' lands 2nd season; ABC to keep 'Anatomy' in place
There's no mystery about it: UPN has given a vote of confidence to its buzzworthy but ratings-challenged freshman drama "Veronica Mars" by handing the Warner Bros. TV series an early renewal for a second season. EDITOR'S NOTE: OK I'M WEEKS AND WEEKS BEHIND WATCHING MY TAPED EPS OF THIS, BUT THIS RENEWAL IS EXCELLENT NEWS. IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN WATCHING THIS SHOW, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT. NOT YOUR TYPICAL TEENYBOPPERY THING AT ALL. (CAUSE WE KNOW I DETEST ANYTHING THAT REINFORCES MY NATURAL BITTERNESS AT YOUTH AND BEAUTY).

Meanwhile, ABC on Friday demonstrated its faith in its highly promising midseason entry "Grey's Anatomy" by confirming that the medical ensemble drama that has taken off behind "Desperate Housewives" on Sunday will remain in that slot for the rest of the season, displacing another freshman drama, "Boston Legal." "Legal," however is assured of returning in the fall by an early pickup ABC gave the David E. Kelley/20th Century Fox TV drama last week.

THRESHOLD:
David Goyer, co-creator of CBS' SF television pilot THRESHOLD, said in a recent interview that the show's premise involves a new kind of alien invasion.

"It's an interesting one-liner. It has to do with an alien invasion, but you never see the aliens. It's a very novel approach to an alien invasion story, because they're invading us through our DNA. They're bio-forming us. They're altering us." EDITOR'S NOTE: IF THIS DNA BIO-FORMING MAKES ME TALLER AND THINNER, I SAY 'GO FOR IT, ALIENS'! Goyer said, while promoting the DVD release of his BLADE: THE TRINITY, that the idea of the series is based on an obscure scientific fact. "Something like 80 to 90 percent of our DNA is junk DNA," he said. "We don't know what it does. And the aliens have figured out a way to activate it and are slowly, literally, changing our chromosomes. They're basically, over the course of generations, turning us into them. Along with that they've got genetic racial memories, things like that, that they're starting to implant in us."

Goyer will direct the pilot and serve as an executive producer on the series, alongside Brannon Braga (Star Trek: Enterprise) EDITOR'S NOTE: OH NO. AND IT SOUNDED LIKE SUCH A CLEVER IDEA. BUT BRAGA IS SORT OF NOTORIOUS FOR TURNING CLEVER INTO MUSH. DRAT. and David Heyman (the Harry Potter films).

Goyer said he has been involved in every aspect of the series so far, from writing to casting to editing. "I did all of that," he said. "I ended up doing a draft of it with Brannon. I was the one that set it up at the network, and then we brought Brannon in, and he and I wrote it, and he and I cast it, along with David Heyman. We did the whole thing."

Although CBS has not officially made a commitment to the series, Goyer is optimistic that the show will be on the network in the fall. "We'll know for sure in about five weeks," he said.

DOCTOR WHO APOLOGY:
The BBC issued an unusual apology to Christopher Eccleston for mischaracterizing his reasons for departing the BBC's DOCTOR WHO series. The BBC said that it failed to consult Eccleston before confirming the actor's departure and that it erroneously attributed statements to the actor that he was leaving because he feared being typecast and found the show's schedule grueling.

In fact, the BBC reported, the network broke an agreement with Eccleston not to reveal that he had planned to film just one season of the hit show all along.

"The BBC regrets not speaking to Christopher before it responded to the press questions on Wednesday 30 March," the BBC's head of drama and commissioning, Jane Tranter, said in a
statement. "The BBC further regrets that it falsely attributed a statement to Christopher and apologizes to him."

A second season of the new DOCTOR WHO has already been ordered. The BBC confirmed that
it is in talks with actor David Tennant as a possible replacement for Eccleston. EDITOR'S NOTE: I BELIEVE TENNANT HAS BEEN CONFIRMED, ACTUALLY.

LOST:
While ABC has ordered up a second season of LOST, it will come to the airwaves without David Fury, a key writer and co-executive producer. Fury is quitting the show immediately to work on two other series, THE INSIDE and 24, and maybe develop a show on his own.

Fury said, "I'm very proud of Lost and my contribution to the show, but for numerous personal reasons, I feel like it's time for me to move on to other things." He added, "I spent seven years of my career in one place [working on Buffy and its spinoff series, Angel], and it's a lot of fun to work in different worlds. LOST was a lot of fun, and I have a great deal of gratitude for [series co-creators] J.J. [Abrams] and Damon [Lindelof]. I know the show will continue to be great, and I look forward to viewing it."

Fury will reunite with his former Whedonverse colleagues at THE INSIDE, a Fox drama co-created by Tim Minear (Angel, Wonderfalls) and Howard Gordon (Angel, 24). "I'll be starting this Monday [April 11]," Fury said. "I'm very excited about it. Tim and I have been anxious to work on something together, and this was a nice opportunity. I had wanted at the very
least to write a script for him, but there was a lot of backstage goings on with Tim and Howard, and they made it happen for Fox to bring me over. I'll be a full-time co-executive producer for the remaining six episodes left in [The Inside's] 13-episode order. Then, as soon as I'm done with that, I'll be going over to 24. I've been playing in the genre world for so long now, it will be
interesting to go over there." EDITOR'S NOTE: I HOPE THIS DOESN'T AFFECT THE QUALITY OF WRITING ON "LOST".

Sundance puts 'Slings' on center stage
Sundance Channel said Wednesday that it has acquired U.S. pay TV rights to the Canadian comedy-drama series "Slings and Arrows," which focuses on the inner workings of a dysfunctional Shakespearean theater festival. EDITOR'S NOTE: POSSIBLY REDUNDANT?

Sundance has acquired rights to the first two seasons -- consisting of six episodes each -- and prebought rights to the yet-to-be-produced third season -- also six episodes.

The deal marks the first series acquisition since Laura Michachyshyn joined the network as executive vp programming and marketing in January. "Slings," which premieres on Sundance in August, is airing on the Movie Network, Showcase and Movie Central in Canada.

'West Wing' campaigns for a new president - and viewers


By Gloria Goodale Staff writer of The Christian Science Monitor
Television's long-running political drama, "The West Wing" is undergoing a makeover, courtesy of the US Constitution. President Josiah Bartlett, played by Martin Sheen, is nearing the end of his second term in office so the show is preparing for a new administration. The current plotline concerns the early part of the election cycle, including party conventions.

"West Wing," a hit when it debuted in 1999, has languished in the ratings in recent years. Some observers suggest the show and its fictional liberal administration are a relic of the Clinton era.

Others contend that it still has something to offer. EDITOR'S NOTE: THIS SHOW, WHILE NOT AS CEREBRAL AS THE SORKIN YEARS, HAS BEEN RIP-ROARING FUN AND EXCITING. (IMHO....)

For their part, the producers are hoping that the spark-filled convention in next week's season finale and the possibility that a Hispanic (played by Jimmy Smits) will be elected president will return the drama to the forefront of popular culture.

Those involved with "West Wing" also hope the suspense over who will be elected will have viewers tuning in, not just for the horse race but to hear topical debates about important issues - something that distinguished the show from the start.

"What we try to do is present the issues which our leaders are having to deal with, and show both sides of them," says producer John Wells. "You try to show both sides so that the arguments are compelling and the points of view are not ridiculed."

This is the sort of high-minded exercise that makes the show unique, says Smits, who plays a Texas congressman vying for the top of the Democratic ticket. If nominated, he will run against the Republican candidate, played by Alan Alda. "It's been a civics lesson for me in a lot of ways," says Smits. "I love the research part of this job."

The actor also enjoys the sense of having an impact on important discussions in society at large.

A recent "West Wing" story line, he recalls, dealt with the controversial issue of whether illegal immigrants should receive driver's licenses. He recently talked to a Californian politician who commented on the plotline.

"When you hear that, you feel that besides giving entertainment value, you could affect people in a positive way," he says.EDITOR'S NOTE: I HATE TO SAY IT, BUT OFTEN THERE ARE MORE COGENT DISCUSSIONS ABOUT IMPORTANT ISSUES ON THIS SHOW THAN IN ANY OF THE NEWS SOURCES I REGULARLY READ. SOME OF THE DEBATES WITHIN THE CONTEXT OF THIS FICTIONAL PROGRAM ARE MORE HELPFUL IN UNDERSTANDING IMPORTANT ISSUES THAN ANYTHING ON THE 'REAL' NEWS.

Unabashed earnestness as well as a willingness to think big have been a part of the show's appeal from the start.

" 'West Wing' came up with a way to talk about national politics with vision and vocabulary that allowed sincerity, without any post-Watergate, post-Monica Lewinsky irony," says Robert Thompson, director of the center for the study of popular TV at Syracuse University in New York. Although the show centers around a Democratic administration, its broader appeal originated in creating a fantasy world in which political leaders acted in the noble fashion portrayed on the show, he says.

Some suggest that this idealized view of politics played well to audiences when "The West Wing" debuted in the go-go 1990s, but they argue that the show is no longer relevant in today's greatly changed post-9/11 world.

"In 2005, our tolerance for points of view that represent the enemy is much lower," says Steffen Schmidt, a political scientist at Iowa State University. "Our culture has deteriorated into conflict and confrontation."EDITOR'S NOTE: ALL THE MORE REASON TO HAVE AT LEAST ONE PLACE WHERE THESE CLEAR-EYED, LUCID DISCUSSIONS ARE TAKING PLACE.

The professor, who has hosted a national political radio show for 16 years, feels acutely the political divide in the nation today. "I almost quit my show two weeks ago, because of the level of acrimony in calls. The effort to belligerently accuse me of being a sympathizer with the enemy [has] reached a level I haven't seen in more than 16 years."

"West Wing" may never return to its former position in the popular culture, says Nancy Snow, a professor of communications.

Her students at California State, Fullerton, aren't interested in watching shows that challenge their point of view, she says. "Here's a show that you'd think could dramatize and highlight all the important issues of our day," she says, but people aren't looking for a dialogue.
"We're in a period in general of not wanting to reach across the aisle," says Professor Snow.
"We're in a very different America now than just six years ago," she says, "and I don't see how it could possibly go back to where it was." EDITOR'S NOTE: MAYBE BY WATCHING PEOPLE HAVING REAL DIALOGUE? (OR IS THAT NAIVE)? COULDN'T HURT, RIGHT?

Anime titans join forces for new series
Toonami joint venture announced
It was announced last week at the Tokyo Anime Fair that three of the biggest names in anime will unite to produce a new anime series.

The Cartoon Network has had phenomenal success with their Toonami block of programs, which brings Japanese animated series into American homes on a regular basis. Now Cartoon Network will be co-producing a new original series with Bandai Entertainment and Production I.G., one of Japan’s leading anime studios. The series will use a melding of traditional animation techniques and CGanime, much like other new cutting edge anime projects.

The new series’ odd title IGPX refers to 2048’s most popular sport, a form of racing so humongous that a special city has been built around it. The rookie heroes of Team Satomi drive hi-tech fighting mech suits against other teams at incredible speeds in extremely dangerous races leading up to the “Immortal Grand Prix”.

The partnership was tested in 2003 when Production I.G. produced five IGPX shorts to be shown during Toonami, which are now available for download on the Toonami Digital Arsenal website [ http://www.toonamiarsenal.com/]. The full series is set to debut in the Fall of 2005.

EDITOR'S NOTE: AND HERE'S A PRESS RELEASE FROM MY NEW SOURCE INSIDE THAT BASTION OF POINTLESSNESS, THE SCIFI CHANNEL. MAYBE THEY'RE GOING TO BECOME RELEVANT TO DWEEBING AGAIN SOMEDAY?
SCI FI REVS UP PILOT PRODUCTION
WITH AGGRESSIVE SLATE OF ORIGINALS
SCI FI Channel, already an industry standout for its high-quality original series,EDITOR'S NOTE: SAYS THEM! announced today new additions to its series development slate for '06-'07.

Coming off the red-hot premiere seasons of Battlestar Galactica and Stargate Atlantis, SCI FI will add to its roster of acclaimed scripted dramas, miniseries and next generation alternative series (Tripping the Rift, Ghost Hunters), new projects from luminaries in film, television and literature. EDITOR'S NOTE: BLAH BLAH BLAH....

SCI FI's new development slate expands the reach of both the Channel and the sci-fi genre by incorporating the broad, mainstream appeal of fantasy, adventure and alternative reality.

Highlights include a new series based on the incomparable life and work of celebrated author Shirley Jackson, to be executive produced by two-time Academy Award-winner Michael Douglas.

Projects include:
Scripted Series
UNTITLED MICHAEL DOUGLAS PROJECT
Desperate Housewives meets The Twilight Zone in this merging of the life and work of the late, celebrated author Shirley Jackson (The Haunting Of Hill House). Storylines and themes from Jackson's catalog of supernatural short stories will be woven into her real life experiences--as told in her non-fiction books Life Among the Savages and Raising Demons. This series will reflect Jackson's spirited family life and her transition from urban mom to small-town matriarch. Executive produced by Academy Award-winning actor/producer Michael Douglas (Wall Street, Traffic); Alan Brennert (Stargate Atlantis) is on-board to write.

HEROES ANONYMOUS
Based on Heroes Anonymous, the popular comic books created by Scott Gimpel and Bill Morrison and published by Matt Groening's Bongo Comics, this live-action one-hour series lives in the world of The Incredibles and Spiderman - a modern-day big city where superheroes are a part of everyday life. Heroes Anonymous follows a group of twentysomething aspiring superheroes that form a support group to help them cope with the nearly impossible task of trying to discover their own identity, while carving out their secret identity. EDITOR'S NOTE: IF SUPERHEROES ARE EVERYWHERE, WHY DO THEY NEED SECRET IDENTITIES?

Produced by NBC Universal Television Studio and Bender-Brown Prods, the series will be Executive Produced by Lawrence Bender (Kill Bill Vol. 1&2, Pulp Fiction), Kevin Brown (Legend of Earthsea, Roswell) and Karl Schaefer (The Dead Zone). Gimpel and Morrison will pen the pilot.

THOSE WHO WALK IN DARKNESS
Based on John Ridley's (Three Kings, Third Watch) best-selling novel of the same name, Those Who Walk in Darkness is a near-future drama about an expert team of S.W.A.T. police whose primary mission is to hunt down and capture rogue "Metanormals"- people who genetically posses superpowers. Along with high-octane action, we'll delve into the intense relationships, on the job and off, within this elite team. EDITOR'S NOTE: SOUNDS LIKE AN "X-MEN" RIP OFF?

John Ridley will write and executive produce in association with NBC Universal Television Studio.

URBAN ARCANA
Cities across the globe have been invaded by creatures from a parallel world. EDITOR'S NOTE: AND THEY'VE BEEN ELECTED TO HIGH GOVERNMENT OFFICES? (CAUSE THIS WOULD EXPLAIN QUITE A BIT). These beings have crossed through a portal into the human sphere and don't plan to obey the laws of the land. Undercover detective Sean Mayhew must protect the human population from the influx of these chameleon-like, mythological creatures.

Urban Arcana is based on a Hasbro/Worlds of Wonder role playing game. Aron Coleite (Crossing Jordan) will write; Gary A. Randall and Rockne O'Bannon (The Triangle, Farscape) will executive produce in association with Fox Television Studios. EDITOR'S NOTE: ANY TIME ROCKNE O'BANNON IS INVOLVED, I HAVE AT LEAST A TWINGE OF HOPE. (ALTHOUGH, HIS EARLIER WORK INCLUDED "SEAQUEST")

TOMORROW'S CHILD
Horribly burned in an accident, a young girl is brought back to life by new "skin" of extraterrestrial origin. This new flesh gives the girl powers beyond human comprehension, and soon the government is on her trail, looking to make her its next guinea pig. As she travels the country in Fugitive fashion, she looks to discover the origin of her powers and seek out others like her. EDITOR'S NOTE: HEY! A CHICK-EYE-VIEW, FOR A CHANGE!

Produced by NBC Universal Television Studio and Gary Foster's Horseshoe Bay Productions (Daredevil, Elektra).

TIME TUNNEL
In this updated interpretation of the classic 1960s television series created by Irwin Allen, a female scientist and a government agent find themselves trapped in time when an experimental time travel project is sabotaged.

Produced with Fox Television Studios and Kevin Burns and Jon Jashni of Synthesis Entertainment. Allen's wife, Shelia Allen will produce. Written by John Turman (The Hulk). EDITOR'S NOTE: SHUDDER....

3:52
From distinguished television writer/producer John Tinker (St. Elsewhere, L.A. Law, Judging Amy, The Practice), comes a chilling human scenario. What if 2 billion people suddenly vanished off the face of the Earth? And nobody knew why? The ripple effect would be global and personal; religion and politics would change forever; families would mourn lost loved ones while scientists and conspiracy theorists would search for answers. EDITOR'S NOTE: I GUESS IT WOULD DEPEND ON WHO HAS TO STAY AND WHO GETS VANISHED.

3:52 (the time of the disappearance) will examine the 'What If' of this event as told from the point-of-view of a small Maryland town.

Alternative/Reality
BARBARIAN CHRONICLES
What if Lord of the Rings met Curb Your Enthusiasm? The answer: Barbarian Chronicles.

This 1/2-hour animated series from Brendon Small, creator of the offbeat series strip Home Movies, is a fresh ensemble comedy set in a magical realm of swords, sorcery and - you heard it here first - Middle-earth metrosexuals. EDITOR'S NOTE: OOO...I FEEL A TREMOR IN THE FORCE. EEK. REMEMBER THAT WELL-INTENTIONED FLOP ABOUT THE 'REAL' LIVES OF ROBIN HOOD'S BAND? DOUBLEEEK.

Executive produced by Small and David Letterman's Worldwide Pants, this series pulls back the curtain on a hilarious and heretofore unknown age of comedy.

SERIOUSLY BAFFLING MYSTERIES
It's Larry Sanders for the paranormal set. Supernatural investigative reporting gets a mockumentary makeover in this hilarious half-hour docu-spoof from FremantleMedia North America.

Series host Jonathan Frankle goes in search of the paranormal on a shoestring budget, but instead finds trouble with his producer and crew. Production chaos and behind-the-scenes dysfunction bleed into each episode - the make-up artist negotiates a raise using a voodoo doll, a Nostradamus prediction about the apocalypse causes administrative anarchy and an investigation into a legendary cannibalistic monster degenerates into a Survivor-like discussion about who among the crew would be voted onto the menu first. EDITOR'S NOTE: THEY'RE GOING TO BROADEN THE VIEWER BASE INTO HIPNESS OR DIE TRYING, HUH?

DALLAS IN WONDERLAND
This one-of-a-kind half-hour reality series, hosted by the irrepressibly vivacious British television star Dallas Campbell, follows one man's quest to achieve the impossible.

Our determined host leaves no stone unturned in his earnest attempts to succeed at a bizarre set of outrageous, self-inflicted sci-fi challenges. Some experiments seem vaguely possible, others are clearly impractical, and some are downright crazy - but all are ingeniously lofty.

Whether applying to NASA to fulfill his dream of space exploration or hitting up the Raelians for help with some narcissistic cloning, Dallas' hilarious never-say-die approach to a good challenge will feed the wanderlust in us all.

Executive Produced by R.J. Cutler's Actual Reality Pictures (American High, 30 Days).

MORE THRILLING SATURDAY NIGHTS ON SCI FI
28 Original Movies Planned for 2006

SCI FI is about to see even more action on Saturday nights. The Channel will supercharge Saturdays in 2006 with an unprecedented 28 original action movies - up from 2005's slate of 23.

SCI FI's March 26 premiere of Alien Apocalypse, starring Bruce Campbell, was the Channel's highest-rated Saturday actioner to date, delivering over 2.7 million viewers.

Campbell's next SCI FI project, Man with the Screaming Brain, will premiere in September.

SCI FI's Saturday movie franchise is the Channel's homage to the drive-in, a re-imagination of cinema's earliest sci-fi treats. Like the classic sci-fi fare of yore, the non-stop thrill rides offer honest-to-goodness escapist fun while simultaneously challenging the imagination.

In just one of next year's offerings, William Shatner brings his own brand of tongue-in-cheek charm to the fire-breathing alien flick, Fire Alien.

Other new projects for 2006 include:
GRYPHON
In this epic fantasy, a prince and princess from opposing sides of two warring kingdoms must join forces to defeat a mystical gryphon that was conjured by an evil wizard bent on bringing both their lands under his sinister control.

HEAT STROKE
Aliens are among us. EDITOR'S NOTE: ENOUGH GOVT. JOKES? And they have been making themselves at home by turning up the heat, resulting in massive global warming. Now, only one soldier stands in the way of complete global meltdown. SCI FI re-partners with Farscape executive producer David Kemper for this action adventure. EDITOR'S NOTE: YOU CAN HIRE ALL THE EX-SCAPER PRODUCERS YOU WANT. UNTIL YOU ACTUALLY BRING BACK "FARSCAPE" (OR SOMETHING EVEN APPROACHING ITS CALIBER), YOUR DERRIERES ARE IN MY SIGHTS.

CITADEL
In a last ditch effort after D-Day, the Nazis unleash a killer beast in the mountains of Europe. It's up an elite corps of American soldiers to head into the remote area and destroy the creature before it kills its way through the continent. Corin Nemec stars. EDITOR'S NOTE: COREY NEMEC. NUFF SAID.

BLACK HOLE TERROR (Working Title) EDITOR'S NOTE: NOT CHEESEY ENOUGH?
When a particle collider experiment goes wrong, a black hole forms. Growing steadily, it soon threatens to swallow the entire Midwest. EDITOR'S NOTE: NOT THAT THAT'S A BAD THING....Compounding matters, an energy creature emerges from the hole, interfering with scientists' efforts to seal the rip in the fabric of space and time.

Directed by Tibor Takács, the film stars Kristy Swanson and Judd Nelson. EDITOR'S NOTE: I REST MY CASE. (ALTHOUGH, WHEN THE FABRIC OF SPACE AND TIME NEEDS SEALING, THESE ARE THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE I WOULD EVEN THINK TO CALL).

SQUID/TENTACLES (Working Title) EDITOR'S NOTE: SNORK.
Thirty years ago, Ray Reiter watched in horror as a giant squid attacked and killed his parents. EDITOR'S NOTE: ON THE UPSIDE, THEY HAD CALAMARI FOR DAYS.

The creature escaped, but not before young Ray destroyed one of its eyes. When the one-eyed beast re-emerges, attacking a crew of a treasure hunting expedition, Ray joins the team, in hopes of exacting his revenge. EDITOR'S NOTE: VEER TO IT'S LEFTLEFTLEFTLEFT! NO, THE OTHER LEFTLEFTLEFTLEFT.

MAGMA
Things get hot, hot, hot EDITOR'S NOTE: I HATE IT WHEN I SNORT IN DERISION SO HARD THAT I SPIT ON MY KEYBOARD. DON'T YOU? when a covert government drilling project goes horribly wrong, causing the Earth's core to overheat. EDITOR'S NOTE: BUT HEY. JUST ANOTHER DAY IN GOVERNMENT WORK!

Xander Berkley (24), Reiko Aylesworth (24) and Amy Jo Johnson (Felicity) star in this volcano disaster film.

SCI FI Channel is a television network where "what if" is what's on. SCI FI fuels the imagination of viewers with original series and events, blockbuster movies and classic science fiction and fantasy programming, as well as a dynamic Web site (www.scifi.com <http://www.scifi.com/>) and magazine. Launched in 1992, and currently in 84 million homes, SCI FI Channel is a network of NBC Universal, one of the world's leading media and entertainment companies. EDITOR'S NOTE: LET'S SAY A BIG THANK YOU TO SCIFI FOR PROVIDING SO MUCH OF TODAY'S (UNINTENTIONAL) HUMOR!!

Movies Movies Movies (catching up on Non-SW, deux)

Sommers to "Collide" With Worlds



Paramount has hired Stephen Sommers to write and direct a remake of the 1951 sci-fi film "When Worlds Collide." EDITOR'S NOTE: CAUTIOUS OPTIMISM. "MUMMY" ONE AND TWO, GOOD. "VAN HELSING" (SORRY JERRY), NOT SO GOOD.

Sommers is supposed to start on the script immediately.EDITOR'S NOTE: SEE, NOW, RIGHT THERE IT'S GOT "VAN HELSING" BEAT. I MEAN, THEY DIDN'T HAVE ONE OF THEM FANCYSHMANCY SCRIPT THINGIES IN VAN H, DID THEY?

In the original, scientists discover that another planet is veering dangerously close to Earth, and they make plans for a small group of humans to leave the planet before the inevitable deadly collision. EDITOR'S NOTE: OOO...TAKE ME TAKE ME!!!! (I'VE NEVER REALLY BELONGED ON THIS PLANET ANYWAY!)

Stephen Sommers and Bob Ducsay will produce.

Winslet, New Line raising 'Children'
Kate Winslet is in negotiations to topline "Little Children" for New Line Cinema.

Winslet would play the role of Sarah in the adaptation of Tom Perrotta's book, which Todd Field is set to direct. Field also is producing with Ron Yerxa and Albert Berger, and he co-wrote the screenplay with Perrotta, whose other credits include "Election." Toby Emmerich and Kent Alterman are overseeing the project for the studio.

The film is set in a suburban town where perfect parents rear perfect children by day and surf Internet porn and have affairs by night.EDITOR'S NOTE: SOUNDS LIKE SUGARLAND, TEXAS. Winslet's character is a mother who has a fling with a stay-at-home dad.

Winslet most recently starred in "Finding Neverland" and "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," for which she received her fourth Oscar nomination. Her upcoming projects include "All the King's Men" for Columbia Pictures and "Romance & Cigarettes" for UA/Sony.

New Line Hooks "Meg"
New Line has picked up Steve Alten's bestselling novel "Meg: Primal Waters," out of turnaround from Disney.



The story centers on an 80-foot-long ancestor of the great white shark, technically known as carcharodon megalodon but dubbed "Meg," that is found by a modern adventurer. EDITOR'S NOTE: ALL I EVER FIND ARE SHELLS AND ROCKS AND STUFF.

SHAFT's Shane Salerno is doing a rewrite. Jan De Bont is set to direct the film EDITOR'S NOTE: SO IT WILL BE REALLY LOUD. which is budgeted at $75 million. Filming is set to start in this fall.

THE GOOD GERMAN:
The Hollywood Reporter revealed that THE GOOD GERMAN, a romantic thriller set during WWII, has gotten the interest of George Clooney and Cate Blanchett. EDITOR'S NOTE: PURTY PAIRING! If the talks work out, Clooney will play an American journalist sent to cover the Allied summit meeting that will decide the future of Germany after WWII. Instead, he uses it as an opportunity to look for a lost love, and he gets caught up in a murder mystery.

Clooney is co-producing the film with his Section Eight partner Steven Soderbergh, who will also direct the film written by Paul Attanasio based on Joseph Kanon's 2001 book.

It would be the fifth time Clooney and Soderbergh collaborated on a film. Blanchett comes off her recent Academy Award win for "The Aviator."

THE SPIRIT:
SMALLVILLE producer and comic-book writer Jeph Loeb has been tapped to write a big-screen version of THE SPIRIT, based on the comic hero created in 1940 by Will Eisner.

Variety reported that Odd Lot Entertainment and Batfilm Productions will develop the project.

THE SPIRIT centers on a masked detective who is believed dead and uses that to his advantage to fight the criminals of Central City from his base at Wildwood Cemetery.

SUPERMAN RETURNS:
The news of Hugh Laurie's departure from SUPERMAN RETURNS yesterday was sad -- he would have made a terrific Perry White. However, today word comes from Variety that Frank Langella will replace Laurie in this key role.

Langella joins a cast that includes Brandon Routh as the Man of Steel, Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor and Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane. Michael Dougherty and Dan Harris penned the script.

Peet Set for MARTIAN CHILD
Amanda Peet has agreed to star along side John Cusack in New Line Cinema's THE MARTIAN CHILD. EDITOR'S NOTE: NOT THAT WE CARE WHAT AMANDA PEET HAS COMING UP. BUT WE ALWAYS REPORT JOHN CUSAK NEWS FOR MISS B (DOES YOUR HONEY DAVE KNOW HE WASN'T THE FIRST IN YOUR HEART, MISS B?)

The film is based on a short story from sci-fi author David Gerrold.

The script written by Jonathan Tolins and Seth Bass is described as "an unusual father-son relationship, and a cross between 'Parenthood' and 'E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial.'" The story concerns a man, who after the death of his wife, adopts a 7-year-old who believes he's from Mars. EDITOR'S NOTE: RELATED TO MY YOUNGER BROTHER, NO DOUBT. (NO, WAIT. HE WAS FROM SOME PLACE....UMM...WARMER).

McKellen and Molina Prepare to Crack CODE
Ian McKellen and Alfred Molina have been set for roles in Sony Pictures' THE DA VINCI CODE. Ron Howard will direct. Brian Grazer and John Calley will produce. Akiva Goldsman wrote the script based on Dan Brown's bestseller. Jean Reno, Audrey Tautou and Tom Hanks also star.

Molina will play zealous Bishop Arigarosa, who's keenly interested in the sleuthing activities of Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon and cryptographer Sophie Neveu. McKellen will play Sir Teabing, a wealthy man who acts as a resource for Langdon even as he shows his own ambitions to uncover the Holy Grail. EDITOR'S NOTE: SINCE I WAS ONE OF THE LAST HUMANS ON EARTH TO READ THE BOOK, THE WHOLE THING IS STILL FAIRLY FRESH IN MY MIND. EXCELLENT CASTING! ESPECIALLY MCKELLEN. (OF COURSE, HE'S USUALLY GOOD CASTING. IN ANYTHING).

The film begins production in June 2005.

Springfield biopic nabs Chenoweth
Kristin Chenoweth is attached to star as Dusty Springfield for a Universal Pictures biopic of the soul singer. Jessica Sharzer will write and direct the movie, which is being produced by studio-based Marc Platt along with Chenoweth and Untitled Entertainment's Dannielle Thomas.

The movie will focus primarily on Springfield's life in the '60s, culminating with the making of "Dusty in Memphis".

'Slammer' time awaits Parker and Shankman
Adam Shankman is in negotiations to direct and Sarah Jessica Parker is in negotiations to star in "Slammer" for Revolution Studios.

The dark comedy was brought in by Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas, head of Revolution Studios' East Coast office, who will produce the film with Howard Rosenman and Carol Baum. Deborah Schindler and Jennifer Gibgot are serving as executive producers. The script is by Sara Goodman and based on a story by Tim Metcalfe and John Slotnick and a screenplay by Metcalfe.

Beckinsale, Hasselhoff 'Click' for Col
Kate Beckinsale EDITOR'S NOTE: SPEAKING OF STICK-FIGURES WITH MOVIE CAREERS....and David Hasselhoff have signed on to the upcoming Columbia/Revolution Studios film "Click." They join Adam Sandler and Christopher Walken in the romantic comedy, to be directed by Frank Coraci. EDITOR'S NOTE: WALKEN'S PARTICIPATION NOT-WITHSTANDING, THIS IS PRETTY CLOSE TO MY IDEA OF PERFECT CASTING....IN HELL.

The story centers on a workaholic architect who discovers a remote control that allows him to fast forward and rewind to different parts of his life. Hasselhoff will play Sandler's boss in the movie, and Beckinsale is the female lead. Mark O'Keefe and Steven Wayne Koren wrote the script, with Tim Herlihy rewriting.

BlackFilm.com has posted an image from Robert Rodriguez's "The Adventures Of Shark Boy And Lava Girl In 3-D."



The film written and directed by Rodriguez stars David Arquette, Kristin Davis, Cayden Boyd, Jacob Davich, Taylor Dooley, and George Lopez.

The story centers on a 10-year-old outcast shunned by classmates and forced to spend summer vacation alone. With his two imaginary friends (Shark Boy and Lava Girl) he goes on a mission to prove dreams can become reality.

Shatner and Seven More Lend Voices to HEDGE
William Shatner, Nick Nolte, Steve Carell, Avril Lavigne, Catherine O'Hara, Eugene Levy, Wanda Sykes and Allison Janney will lend their voices to DreamWorks Animation's OVER THE HEDGE. Bruce Willis has already signed on to voice R.J., the raccoon, and Garry Shandling has agreed to voice Verne, the turtle.

The story centers on a mischievous raccoon and his sensitive best friend, a turtle, who with the other forest creatures find their woodland home being encroached by suburbia. EDITOR'S NOTE: BE FOREWARNED THOUGH. THEY'RE GOING TO TRY TO MAKE IT MORE REALISTIC AND REPRESENTATIVE OF THE TIMES WE'RE LIVING IN TODAY. SO A WALMART MOVES IN, AND ALL BUT ONE OF THE LITTLE FURRY CRITTERS ARE SMOTHERED IN THE CONCRETE-POUR. (EXCEPT FOR THE ONE TIT-MOUSE RELOCATED TO THE PC-PANDERING ACRE OF WILDLIFE REFUGE PURCHASED BY WALMART TO MOLLIFY THE WHINING ENVIRONMENTALISTS).

Harry Potter Harry Potter (catching up on non-Star Wars, uno)

EDITOR'S NOTE: WELL I SPENT A GOODLY PART OF LAST NIGHT ATTEMPTING TO CORRAL OUR HOUSTON DWEEBGANG FOR A JOINT VIEWING OF THE FIRST STAR WARS EPISODE 3 SHOWING. SO NOW I AM ALMOST IRREDEEMABLY INTO THE WHOLE SW THANG.

I DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA BE TOO LONG BEFORE I AM UNABLE TO REPORT ON ANYTHING BUT STAR WARS.

SO LET'S GET IN SOME NONSW NEWS WHILE WE STILL CAN, EH?

First look at GOF: May 7th
It's the news we've all been waiting for!

Our first look at Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire will be on May 7th during the network premiere of Chamber of Secrets, starting at 7 EST on ABC.

The interviews and clips pertaining to GOF will be scattered throughout the 3-hour time period, according to this press release:

As a special treat for "Harry Potter" film fans, this presentation will include interstitials throughout featuring an exclusive first look at film clips, cast interviews and behind-the-scenes footage from the fourth "Harry Potter" film, "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," opening in theatres November 18, 2005.

Additionally, WB sent us this end card used for promoting the night.



UPDATE: DR.com was just given approval to post that the theatrical trailer for GOF will be shown in theaters starting on May 13th. Our guess is the trailer will be online then as well. EDITOR'S NOTE: IS MAY NOT SIMPLY THE BESTEST MONTH IN THE WHOLE YEAR??!!! (NOT TO MENTION, IT INCLUDES ODDBOB'S BIRTHDAY. NOT TO MENTION).

HBP audio version due August 25th
The newly revamped Bloomsbury.com, as mentioned below, has informed us that the CD and cassette tape versions of Half-Blood Prince will be released on August 25th.

Presumably, the audio books will be once again narrated by Stephen Fry. EDITOR'S NOTE: THIS IS THE BRITISH NARRATOR? (BECAUSE THE 'AMERICAN' NARRATOR IS JIM DALE, RIGHT?)

'Goblet' running time: 150 minutes?
The Internet Movie Database's listing for Goblet of Fire has the length listed as 150 minutes - exactly 2 1/2 hours. EDITOR'S NOTE: NOT LONG ENOUGH, BUT AT LEAST IT'S LONGER THAN THE LAST ONE!

This is right in line with WB's original promise, so we expect this to be fairly accurate.

Coltrane: I may not play Hagrid again EDITOR'S NOTE: SAY IT AIN'T SO!!!??
ROBBIE Coltrane has hinted that he may not re-appear as the lovable giant Hagrid in the next Harry Potter book to be filmed, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Coltrane, who next week returns to the Scottish stage for the first time in 15 years, has also revealed he would like to take part in productions with the new National Theatre of Scotland.

The actor, currently rehearsing for his role in Peter McDougall's The Brother's Suit, which is on at Oran Mor in Glasgow every day next week, said he was unsure whether he would rejoin the Potter franchise after this year's movie, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.He has made the hefty role of Rubeus Hagrid his own since the JK Rowling books were first translated for the screen.

However, asked if he would be returning as Hagrid after this year's episode, he said:

"It's open to negotiations . . . I know the answer and it's 'I don't know'. That's that."

He declined to comment any further on the future of the role, instead praising the Goblet of Fire, although he admitted it was a very complicated plot.

On the National Theatre of Scotland, which is due to stage its first productions next year, the 55-year-old actor said:

"Of course I would be tempted. "I was offered a big theatre part in Scotland recently which I could not do because of other commitments, but yes, of course. I can't tell you what the part was, because someone else did it."

He said "the bulk of what's on at theatres now is bloody musicals, endless bloody musicals.EDITOR'S NOTE: I GUESS IF YOU DON'T SING, THIS IS A BAD THING. (AND IF THEY'RE BY ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER, EVEN WORSE!)

"I do think that's a shame. The big issues of the day, like the Iraqi war, are very rarely discussed in the big theatres now. I think it's a shame because it's a platform to discuss ideas that cannot be discussed anywhere else, with the agenda on television being so sanitised. I hope the (National Theatre) does address these things."

Coltrane said he was enjoying rehearsing for the stage again, for the Oran Mor play, The Brother's Suit, part of its series known as A Play, A Pie and A Pint.

"The trouble with theatre is that once you are a name they want to have you doing it for 18 months but I would go insane doing it for that long," he said."I'm doing this for a week and I know by the end I will be saying 'I want to do it again!'."

Coltrane said that he was a "big fan" of McDougall's, it was a "beautiful piece", and he did not mind being the centre of press attention over his role.

Rowling said she would soon be taking several months off to look after her new child and will not start writing the final Potter novel for some time. EDITOR'S NOTE: SNIFFLE. CAN'T SHE HAVE A LIFE AFTER SHE'S DONE NUMBER 7?

On her official website she said: "I have just completed the very last tiny edits on Half Blood Prince so I'm now taking a few months off to concentrate on my new daughter (not to mention the old daughter and the not so old son)."

MEANWHILE....
Robbie Coltrane still doubtful about returning for OOTP
From an article in today's Sunday Times:

“Well, it takes nine months to make a Potter movie,” he says. “There’s not a lot else you can do. You can’t tell people to put their film on hold till you’re ready in September, it doesn’t work that way.“I mean, I’m doing this play but that’s only three weeks. We’ll see what happens now that I’ve finished the Potter films. I signed for four and I’ve done them now. There’s no great mystery to these things.”

GOBLET Game Arrives in November


Electronic Arts and Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment are announcing the video game "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." The game as well as the movie will be released this November.



EA has more 'Potter' magic Electronic Arts and Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment are set to confirm today that there will be a video game counterpart to Warner Bros. Pictures' "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire."

Additionally, for the first time in the franchise, the virtual characters will look like the movie's actors. EDITOR'S NOTE: SO, ANDREW....YOU COOL WITH THIS?

Both the game and the feature film based on J.K. Rowling's fourth "Potter" book are scheduled for release in November.

Potter (played by Daniel Radcliffe), Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint) and Hermione Grange (Emma Watson) are all playable characters in the game and will look the same in both media. Players also will notice two new game features. When casting a spell, players will "feel the magic" as the controller shakes in reaction to the wand's motion. EDITOR'S NOTE: OOO...HOW COOL IS THAT??!! Also, co-operative modes allow players to join forces to combine their skills and power.

The likenesses of Daniel Radcliffe Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson will be used in the game.
It will be available on both Sony's PSP hand-held entertainment system, Sony's PlayStation 2, Microsoft's Xbox, Nintendo GameCube, Nintendo DS, Nintendo's Game Boy Advance and Windows PC.