Woe is I...and alack!

Editor's Note: Another year in which I STILL cannot attend the Disney Star Wars weekends.

I am bereft.

(And you thought I was the QOTD?)

rimshot....

Here's the blurb from the Disney PR juggernaut:

A Galaxy Far, Far Away—Up Close & Personal
Meet one of the creative forces behind Star Wars™ Weekends


Editor's Note: Aww.....Look at the happy fake people interacting with the happy fake Chewbacca!

Whether you're a dyed-in-the-wool Jedi junkie, or even if you can't always tell a Jawa from a Wookiee,Editor's Note: If you can't tell a Jawa from a Wookiee.... (well, for one thing, you're probably not reading THIS missive). But really, you are going to go into Chalmun's Cantina, and something you mistakenly call a Jawa is going to WookieWhup you BAD! you won't want to miss Star Wars Weekends at Disney-MGM Studios every Friday, Saturday and Sunday, June 1 to June 24.

"Star Wars Weekends is a totally immersive event in the ideal setting of Disney-MGM Studios," Walt Disney Entertainment Show Director Mark Renfrow told us. "Surrounded by three-dimensional settings and set pieces, like Endor Village, the planet of Tatooine and the AT-AT walkers, we really make it possible for everyone to live the fantasy of meeting celebrities and characters—while enjoying all the features created exclusively for the event."

Non-stop Star Wars fun and adventure
You can meet characters like Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker, Chewbacca, Darth Maul, Princess Leia and even Jedi Mickey, and get autographs from some of the greatest names in Star Wars history.
There's nothing like the excitement when kids meet the Star Wars characters. Editor's Note: Not the REAL ones. It's like Santa...at the mall, yes?

"It's great to see their reactions," Mark said. "It's as if the characters stepped right off the screen to meet, play and sometimes actually duel with them." (Of course, you don't have to be a kid to connect with your favorite interplanetary pals!) Editor's Note: SEEE!! SEEEEE!!!! TOLD Ya!

Young Guests may be chosen to wield a lightsaber and join the Jedi Training Camp, where a Jedi Master shows them the ropes on how to deal with the galaxy's most treacherous villains. They can also test their Star Wars knowledge at the Padawan Mind Challenge.

Seeing the stars from beyond the stars
Seeing—and maybe even talking with—celebrities is an exhilarating part of Star Wars Weekends. This year's guest list includes Kenny Baker (R2-D2), Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca), Ray Paul (Darth Maul) and more. Editor's Note: The typo on Ray Park's name is on the Disney website!!!! (Do you think they meant RU Paul?)

Every day during the Weekends, you can enjoy Stars of the Saga, a live celebrity talk show in which you may find yourself asking one of our visiting Star Wars celebrities one of the questions. Also daily, look for Legends of the Force: A Star Wars Celebrity Motorcade, where you can cheer celebrities and characters as they make their way along Hollywood Boulevard.

Mark is particularly excited about Behind the Force, a 20-minute, big-screen film presentation edited from over 1,000 hours of Lucasfilm footage.

"You can't see 'Behind the Force' anywhere else but Disney-MGM Studios," Mark said. "And this year, the story will be all about the 30 years of Star Wars, taking you from the saga's conception to where it's going in the future." Editor's Note: Woe, alack and ALAS!!!

The ultimate Star Wars thrill ride and more
It wouldn't be Star Wars Weekends without a voyage or two aboard Star Tours, Editor's Note: Ok, THAT I'm not sorry I'm missing. (I get motion sick just THINKING about it). plus the fun finale of Hyperspace Hoopla, a musical comedy romp. Editor's Note: "Hyperspace Hoopla"? Oh dear oh dear oh dear. (The words 'musical comedy romp' are pretty much NEVER a good sign. And then pair them with Star Wars, and there is a very bad tremor in the Force).

"It's a chance for even the Star Wars characters to let their hair down," said Mark.
"And seeing a Wookiee let his hair down is usually quite impressive!" Editor's Note: BAD PR man, BAD BAD!!! It's the spice mines of Kessel for YOU!

And on till Sunset, Scotty...

Editor's Note: As ever, dweebpal PlanoKevin sends us the news that's fit to blog.

Doohan's Ashes to Be Blasted Into Space
LAS CRUCES, N.M. (AP) - The ashes of James Doohan, who played chief engineer Montgomery "Scotty" Scott on the original "Star Trek" TV series, have been loaded into a rocket that is set to launch in New Mexico later this month.

The remains of Doohan, Mercury astronaut Gordon Cooper and some 200 others were loaded into the rocket Friday by Charles Chafer, chief executive of Celestis, a Texas company that contracts with rocket firms to send cremated remains into space.

"And we're ready to go," Chafer said after inserting the silver canister.

Jerry Larson, president of Connecticut-based UP Aerospace Inc., said the rocket will be launched April 28.

Families paid $495 to have a few grams of their loved one's ashes placed on the rocket.
Chafer said he's aware of the dedication of "Star Trek" fans.

"There's no doubt that we'll find a way to accommodate fans who travel here and want to be part of that experience," he said.

Doohan died in July 2005 at age 85.

The remains of "Star Trek" creator Gene Roddenberry were blasted into space in 1997.

Editor's Note: God speed, Mr. Doohan.....

Dweebs...Place your Bets!

HARRY PLOTTER
Punters back Neville to kill his Boy Wizard pal
By Mark Mcgivern
HARRY Potter's reign as the prince of boy wizards could be brought to a brutal end - by one of his pals.

Bookies have reported a rush of bets on fellow Hogwarts pupil Neville Longbottom killing Harry in the final adventure. Editor's Note: Say WHAT?!

Author JK Rowling has hinted that two of the main characters are killed off in her new book - Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, which goes on sale on July 21.

The favourites on "Who Will Pot Potter" are still evil Lord Voldemort and Professor Snape, who are priced at 2-1 and 5-2 respectively, say bookmakers William Hill.

But a flurry of wagers on Neville - played by Matthew Lewis in the films - has seen his odds cut from 25-1 to 12-1.

Hill's spokesman Rupert Adams said: "Neville and Harry were born within a day of each other and you can see why fans have made the connection.

"It is difficult to know if the bets are complete speculation or insider info, and with less than four months to go, we are worried about being stitched up."

There's also increased support for the theory that Neville will cause the demise of Voldemort, with odds of that going from 100-1 to 8-1. Editor's Note: How about Voldemort kills Neville, and then Harry kills youknowwho? (Actually, I think it MORE likely that Voldiebaby kills SNAPE...who turns out to be fighting on the right side and gives his life for Harry....and then Harry kills Voldie).

If Harry survives, all stake money will be returned. Editor's Note: This is a cold, cruel bunch, eh?

The book has also attracted a string of alternative bets. One punter has wagered £100 at 4-1 that Dumbledore's death was staged and he will be alive and well in the final book.

And an Aberdeen woman has placed £50 at 20-1 that Snape is a hero and £40 at 50-1 that Professor McGonagall is actually a baddie. Editor's Note: Ok, I'm fine with that first one, but Maggie Smith goes to the darkside???!!! Say it isn't so, lassie!

Another punter placed £10 at 8-1 that Ron and Hermione will get married.

WHODUNNIT?
2-1 Lord Voldemort
5-2 Professor Snape
6-1 Draco Malfroy
6-1 Ron Weasley
6-1 Harry Potter
12-1 Neville Longbottom
14-1 Lucius Malfroy
14-1 Hermione Granger
20-1 Professor Slughorn
25-1 Hagrid
25-1 Cornelius Fudge
33-1 Arthur Weasley
33-1 Dawlish
40-1 Professor McGonagall
50-1 Lupin
50-1 Mr Filch
50-1 Dobby
100-1 Ginny Weasley
100-1 Tonks
100-1 Fred/George Weasley
100-1 Uncle Vernon