Saturday, August 27, 2005

Did you REALLY think the weekends were SAFE?!

EDITOR'S NOTE: POSTED WITHOUT COMMENTARY. BECAUSE...WELL....WHAT CAN I SAY THAT WOULD HELP, EXPLAIN, OR EXCUSE?
ODDBOB'S CORNER
The Top 9 Klingon Lullabies
9> Throw That Dishonorable Baby P'taK From the Tree, Cradle and All, It
HasNo Place in Stovokor!

8> The Itsy Bitsy Spider (Kills Creatures Many Times Its Size)

7> Now I lay me down to sleep
At my side my weapon I keep
If intruders come before I wake
Their heads as trophies I will take

6> No singing is needed for Klingons to fall asleep, just a sharp blow
tothe back of the neck each night does the trick.

5> Die for Your Honor, and You'll Sleep Well Forever

4> "Be a Klingon, do not quibble,
Eat your little wee pet tribble!"

3> "Pray to bleed as the ancestors bled,
Then crush your dolly's little head.
Don't be like the human chimps,
Don't grow up to be a wimp."

2> "Little one, finally, go to bed.
In the morning, may you have no smooth head."

and the Number 1 Klingon Lullaby...

1> Three blind targs, three blind targs,
See how they run, see how they run.
They all ran after the warrior's wife,
She cut off their heads with her father's knife,
But the targs were blind, and not worthy opponents,
So the warrior slew his woman for bringing dishonor upon both houses.
EDITOR'S NOTE: ODDBOB IS OURS. WE HAVE NO CHOICE. NO ONE ELSE WILL HAVE HIM. AND AS DWEEBS ARE WE NOT COMPASSIONATE? (AND YES, WE ARE RETHINKING THAT).

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

A bit more randomness on a Wednesday

Hitachi unveils world's first terabyte DVD recorder
Japan's Hitachi Ltd. on Wednesday unveiled the world's first hard disk drive/DVD recorder that can store one terabyte of data, or enough to record about 128 hours of high-definition digital broadcasting.

Hitachi, Japan's largest electronics conglomerate, is still a relatively small player in the DVD recorder market, trailing industry leaders Matsushita Industrial Co. Ltd., Sony Corp. and Toshiba Corp. But it hopes its new lineup, which also includes models able to store 160 gigabytes, 250 gigabytes and 500 gigabytes of data, will help boost its market share and turn its loss-making DVD recorder business profitable in October-March, the second half of the business year. EDITOR’S NOTE: SO….DOES SIZE MATTER?

For the Niche Film Audience, Studios Are Appealing by Blog
By
JOEL TOPCIK
Movie studios typically advertise on television and in newspapers in search of the biggest possible opening-weekend audience. For a new film, "The Constant Gardener," Focus Features is intent on building its audience in a different way: by taking aim at readers of niche Web sites and blogs. EDITOR’S NOTE: HERE WE ARE…..SMALL AND SPECIAL. PANDER TO US!

Focus, an art-house unit of Universal Pictures, has purchased ads for "The Constant Gardener" on the political blog Wonkette, as well as the Web sites of politically oriented publications like Harper's, The Nation and National Review. EDITOR’S NOTE: AND NOT ON THE DWEEBLETTER?! (HARUMPH)

James Schamus, a co-president of the studio, says that such sites draw the sort of people most likely to appreciate the film, a conspiracy thriller based on a John le Carré novel about pharmaceutical companies operating in Africa.

"We looked for the places that sophisticated moviegoers seek out to find things that interest them," Mr. Schamus said. "These are the people who are engaged with the world, who are informed about the big conspiracies going on out there." EDITOR’S NOTE: SO THEY’RE NOT LOOKING FOR SOPHISTICATED MOVIE-GOERS NECESSARILY, BUT PARANOIDS AND THE POLITICALLY DISENFRANCHISED?

Ever since the release of "The Blair Witch Project" in 1999, movie studios have strived, and failed, to replicate the groundbreaking Internet campaign that made that film a marketing phenomenon. These new ad campaigns on the Web suggest that studios are becoming more determined to identify and reach niche audiences online.

An independent distributor, ThinkFilm, has taken a similar approach with the dirty-joke documentary "The Aristocrats," buying prominent banners at the bawdy gossip sites Gawker.com and Defamer.com, as well as on sites like The Onion and CollegeHumor.com.
ThinkFilm's vice president for marketing, David Fenkel, said: "Some movies just lend themselves to online advertising. 'The Aristocrats' is dirty, it's obscene and it's unrated, which is sort of like the Internet itself." EDITOR’S NOTE: SYNERGY! (AND PROTECTION FOR THE REST OF US)!

Seth Godin, an author and speaker on marketing, said that Focus was "clearly ahead of the curve" in seeking an audience based on online behavior. EDITOR’S NOTE: HOW SAD IS IT THAT THIS IS PERCEIVED AS ‘AHEAD OF THE CURVE’? I MEAN, SHOULDN’T THIS BE OLD HAT BY NOW?

Mr. Godin cited a report from comScore Media Metrix, EDITOR’S NOTE: OOO…I HATE THIS WORD! (WELL, NON-WORD) saying that blog readers visit almost twice as many Web pages as the average Internet user. "We know that people visiting a blog are more likely to take action" he said, "to click on a link or buy online." EDITOR’S NOTE: SO PANDER TO US! WE ARE SUCKERS FOR PANDERING. (AND ENABLING AND SUCKING UP. AND CHOCOLATE).

In particular, the ads for "The Constant Gardener" seem to seek out people who distrust multinational corporations. The banner contains the taglines "The corruption is contagious" and "The conspiracy is global," and links to the film's Web site, where snippets of dialogue about "payoffs, cover-ups, unmarked graves" can be heard in the trailer.

Joseph Jaffe, the president of Jaffe L.L.C., a marketing consulting firm in Westport, Conn., agreed. "The movie is about getting people to talk about a social issue," he said. "Blog readers want to be able to respond and add their own points of view.

"The goal is to find and engage a very small subset of influential thinkers and opinion leaders." EDITOR’S NOTE: AND LIKE THE VIRUS THAT WE ARE, WE’LL PASS IT ON.

The "Aristocrats" ad also invites visitors to submit their own version of the film's unprintable
joke. ThinkFilm, which has an advertising budget well below the $30 million that major studios typically spend, is hoping that this interactive component can propel an ad throughout the Web, creating a cost-effective campaign. EDITOR’S NOTE: THIS WILL WORK FOR A WHILE. AND THEN, IT WILL BE OLD NEWS AND WE WILL IGNORE THEM. (AND A GOOD AD CAMPAIGN STILL CAN’T MAKE UP FOR A BAD MOVIE. ASK THE FOLKS WHO DID “THE HULK”).

Mr. Fenkel would not disclose the budget for the "Aristocrats" campaign but said Web advertising came in at roughly 5 percent of the total ad budget, higher than the industry average of 2.2 percent in 2004.

But as Mr. Jaffe noted, even studios with ample budgets have used interactive strategies, as New Line did for "Wedding Crashers" with its Trailer Crashers game allowing users to insert images of themselves into the movie trailer. "You can be sure that a good percentage of people who saw the movie came across this game online," Mr. Jaffe said.

Web advertisements will not eclipse print and broadcast ads anytime soon. But at a time when blanket ad purchases seem ready to decline in tandem with box office receipts, studios may look more and more to the Internet to find audiences. "It's the opposite of buying a spread in a newspaper or a slew of 30-second slots on TV," Mr. Jaffe said. "Studios need to stop trying to reach the most people and focus on reaching the best people." EDITOR’S NOTE: WELL, JUST THROWING GOBS OF MONEY AT IT MIGHT SEEM LIKE FUN, BUT IT’S NEVER BEEN THE BEST IDEA. MARKETING THE MOVIES HEWS TO THE MEDIOCRE MIDDLE THE SAME WAY THE MOVIES THEMSELVES DO.

Funny takes on Funny

Spinal Tap team take on the Oscars
The creators of This Is Spinal Tap will push it up all the way to 11 when they take on the film industry in their next project. And Ricky Gervais is helping them.

Christopher Guest, aka dim-witted guitarist Nigel Tufnel, is to direct a mock documentary about an indie film crew whose hopes of fame and glory are raised by the prospect of an Oscar nomination. Entitled For Your Consideration, the movie will also send up the Oscars and the rest of the awards season. EDITOR’S NOTE: SEEMS ALMOST REDUNDANT TO SPOOF THE OSCARS, DOESN’T IT?

Eugene Levy, better known as American Pie's eager dad, will co-direct with Guest. Levy will also play the part of a talent agent working for the DOA, the Dorfman Orphkin Agency, with Guest co-starring as the film's director.

Ricky Gervais will jump on board, making a cameo appearance. The cast also features Spinal Tap's David St Hubbins, or Michael McKean, and actors from previous Guest films (A Mighty Wind, Best in Show) such as Parker Posey and Bob Balaban.

A sign of the Apocalypse?

Musical LESTAT Bites Into San Fran
The Associated Press reports that the musical LESTAT from Elton John and Bernie Taupin will premiere on December 17th at the Curran Theatre in San Francisco.

The show is based on Anne Rice's best-selling VAMPIRE CHRONICLES.

Hugh Panaro will play Lestat.


EDITOR’S NOTE: AND AIN’T HE THE PURTY ONE?!

Rachel Coloff, Nikki Renee Daniels, Joseph Dellger, Colleen Fitzpatrick, Megan Reinking, Drew Sarich, Will Swenson Steve Wilson and Tommar Wilson also star. Robert Jess Roth directs.

In early 2003, Taupin said the play will "be dark, sexy and scary, but that doesn't mean it has to be cliche." John added, "Bernie and I have been huge fans of Anne Rice's books for a long, long time." EDITOR’S NOTE: NO CLICHÉ, HUH? IT’S GONNA BE AWFULLY QUIET, THEN.

The producers describe LESTAT as "the romantic and heartbreaking story of the extraordinary journey of one man who escapes the tyranny of his oppressive family only to have his life taken from him. Thrust into the seductive and sensual world of an immortal vampire, Lestat sets out on a road of adventures in a quest for everlasting love and companionship but is forced to reconcile his innate sense of good with his primal need to exist." EDITOR’S NOTE: YEAH…..WELL…..THAT HAPPENS SOMETIMES……(BUT WHY SHOULD ALL THE REST OF US SUFFER FOR IT?)

A Wednesday Dweeb BIRTHDAY

HAPPY #17 TO OUR VERY OWN RONALD WEASLEY (RUPERT GRINT, NATCH).
THEY'D BETTER HURRY UP WITH THOSE MOVIES, EH?
P.S. AND ON A STRICTLY PERSONAL-FANDOM NOTE, HAPPY #40 (THE BIG FOUR O) TO THE LOVELY-AND-TALENTED MARLEE MATLIN.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

What the heck....some Harry Potter

EDITOR'S NOTE: FIRST UP, SOME LINKS TO TRAILERS. (THANKS, CHEWYANDY FOR PASSING ALONG THE LINK TO THE HI-DEF GOF TRAILER)!

Never-before-seen POA trailers
There isn't just one, not just two, but three Prisoner of Azkaban trailers available over at MagicBoxMusic.com.

None of these havebeen released before, so they're definitely worth a look.

All are available in QuickTime only
http://www.magicboxmusic.com/trailer/new/hppoa_teaser.html
EDITOR'S NOTE: THEY LOOK SIMILAR TO ONES THAT SHOWED WHEN POA WAS COMING OUT. BUT THERE ARE DEFINITELY SOME NEW CLIPS, AND THE MUSIC IS DIFFERENT. WORTH A LOOK!

Even bigger International Trailer
This one gives us our best look yet because of the HUGE size.

TLC is posting an international hi-res GOF trailer. cool!

here's the link: http://www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/

EDITOR'S NOTE: IF YOU HAVE TROUBLE FINDING IT AT THAT WEBADDRESS, TRY THIS ONE, BELOW ----

http://www.allocine.fr/film/video_gen_cfilm=53756&nopub=1.html
EDITOR'S NOTE: AND WITH FRENCH SUBTITLES....OOLALA!

PotterCast TidBit Wrapup: Kids to Return for HP5, says Craig
At popular demand, here's a small wrapup of the interview tidbits that were released in the interviews in this week's PotterCast.

-Bonnie Wright spoke about filming movie four and Mike Newell's tendency to explain the big picture and make the very large cast feel part of the entire experience; she also talks about her reactions to book six and the possibility of filming it. EDITOR'S NOTE: WONDER HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT ALL THE 'SNOGGING' HER CHARACTER WILL HAVE TO DO? (GIGGLE)

-Stuart Craig, production designer on the HP films, said he believes the main Potter kids are coming back for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. He also talks about Yates' vision, Newell's directing style, and more. EDITOR'S NOTE: I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO LISTEN TO ANY OF THE POTTERCASTS, BUT THIS LITTLE TIDBIT ABOUT MOVIE 5 IS REALLY WELCOME, LOVELY NEWS, EH?!!!

Heyman and WB on GOF's PG-13 rating
The people behind Entertainment Weekly have chosen Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire as the number one movie to see this fall. EDITOR'S NOTE: ALWAYS NICE TO HAVE FANS. ALTHOUGH, CONSIDER THE SOURCE.....

In addition, Ramen sent in this extract from the magazine regarding the movie's PG-13 rating:

"We anticipated at some point this was going to happen," says Dawn Taubin, President of Marketing for Warner Bros. Pictures. "It was just a question of when."

Although the rating - the MPAA is concerned about "sequences of fantasy violence and frightening images" - may lop a serious portion of the audience off at this 6-year-old knees, Producer David Heyman is unfazed. "Kids loathe to be patronized," he says. "The most important thing for us is to maintain the fidelity to the material. [It's] a little frightening at times, but that's the book." EDITOR'S NOTE: AS HARRY AGES AND THE BOOKS PROGRESS, IT REALLY ISN'T A KIDDIE STORY ANY MORE.

Take THAT you people who only like good movies!

EDITOR'S NOTE: NOT THAT I'M CHAMPIONING "THE ISLAND" AS AN OSCAR CONTENDER, BUT THE VITRIOL TOSSED THE MOVIE'S WAY WAS OUT OF PROPORTION. IMHO.

PLUS, THE CAST IS SO ATTRACTIVE!


EDITOR'S NOTE: CASE IN POINT......

O'seas helping 'Island' forget domestic disaster
You might call Michael Bay's "The Island" the overseas comeback kid.

The big-budget futuristic thriller, a major domestic disappointment (only $34.1 million in 24 days) topped the international boxoffice over the weekend,EDITOR'S NOTE: THIS WAS A COUPLE OF WEEKENDS AGO. (DELAYED POSTING, SORRY) narrowly beating its Warner Bros. Pictures stablemate "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," $13.95 million from 33 markets to $13.86 million from 30 territories.

"The Island," a DreamWorks-Warner Bros. co-production with Warners handling the offshore release, has reached an international gross of $63.2 million, benefiting from openings in the U.K., Mexico and Russia. "Chocolate," meanwhile moved it's cume to $91.5 million. "Mr. & Mrs. Smith," No. 1 in France for three weeks in a row, topped $200 million, with $143 million coming from markets controlled by 20th Century Fox and the rest from those handled by Summit Entertainment/New Regency Pictures

EDITOR'S NOTE: AND THIS ONE, MORE RECENTLY.....

'Island' floats to No. 1 at int'l b.o.
SYDNEY -- The Smiths conquered Spain, Charlie retained his crown in Britain and "The Island"
finally had its day in the sun as weekend estimates placed the film No. 1 at the international boxoffice.

"The Island" grossed an estimated $12.4 million from more than 4,800 screens for a cume-to-date of $84.8 million in 44 markets. A solid opening in France of $3.4 million from 640 prints earned the Michael Bay actioner the No. 1 spot -- 11% ahead of "Batman Begins"and on par with "Constantine" -- with admissions expected to be almost double the No. 2 debut of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

EDITOR'S NOTE: AND WHEN IT HITS THAT $10 BIN AT TARGET, I AM FIRST IN LINE, BABY! (MAYBE THE DVD WILL INCLUDE ALL THE EDITED SCENES THAT WOULD HAVE MADE IT A MORE COHERENT FILM!)

I love British people

EDITOR'S NOTE: IS IT REVERSE DISCRIMINATION TO SAY THAT BRITISH PEOPLE ARE BETTER? IS IT MY OWN SELF-LOATHING?

Hopkins and Dench named best British actors
Staff and agenciesThursday August 18, 2005
Guardian Unlimited

Titled thespians Sir Anthony Hopkins and Dame Judi Dench are the best British actors ever, according to a poll commissioned by London's Old Vic Theatre. EDITOR'S NOTE: AND THEY OUGHTA KNOW, RIGHT?

Welsh-born Hopkins, who won an Oscar for his role in 1991's The Silence of the Lambs, took top place ahead of the revered Laurence Olivier, who died in 1989. EDITOR'S NOTE: SO HE HASN'T DONE MUCH LATELY?

The top five was rounded up by Sean Connery, Alec Guinness and Michael Caine.

Dench's brief, forceful turn as Queen Elizabeth I in 1998's Shakespeare in Love won her a long overdue best supporting actress Oscar. She topped the poll of best British actresses, with Birmingham-born Julie Walters in second place. EDITOR'S NOTE: MRS. WEASLEY!

The poll was commissioned by the Old Vic Theatre in association with wine-makers Mouton Cadet. More than 6,000 people were polled.

The 20 best British actors:
1) Anthony Hopkins
2) Laurence Olivier
3) Sean Connery
4) Alec Guinness
5) Michael Caine
6) Richard Burton
7) David Jason EDITOR'S NOTE: WHO?
8) Cary Grant
9) John Mills
10) Ian McKellen
11) Oliver Reed
12) John Thaw EDITOR'S NOTE: AND AGAIN...???
13) Ewan McGregor EDITOR'S NOTE: HI, HONEY!
14) Peter Sellers
15) John Gielgud
16) Ray Winston
17) Robert Carlyle
18) Kenneth Branagh
19) David Niven
20) Peter O'Toole
EDITOR'S NOTE: NO CLIVE OWEN? ALAN RICKMAN? COLIN FIRTH?

The 20 best British actresses:
1) Judi Dench
2) Julie Walters
3) Elizabeth TaylorEDITOR'S NOTE: YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING?! (NOT ONLY IS IT A STRETCH TO CLAIM HER AS A TRUE BRIT, BUT AS A GOOD ACTRESS)??!!
4) Maggie Smith EDITOR'S NOTE: YESSSS!
5) Julie Andrews
6) Helen Mirren EDITOR'S NOTE: ANOTHER HIGH FIVE!
7) Emma Thompson EDITOR'S NOTE: TOPS ON MY SWITCH LIST!
8) Vanessa Redgrave
9) Joan Collins EDITOR'S NOTE: SNICKER....
10) Thora Hird EDITOR'S NOTE: ???
11) Julie Christie
12) Diana Dors
13) Kathy Burke EDITOR'S NOTE: AND AGAIN, ???
14) Margaret Rutherford
15) Samantha Morton
16) Victoria Wood EDITOR'S NOTE: MY BAD, ???
17) Kristin Scott Thomas
18) Helena Bonham-Carter
19) Juliet Stevenson
20) Kate Winslet

EDITOR'S NOTE: I AM SUCH A SUCKER FOR LISTS. WHO ELSE IS MISSING?

Green is Hip(pity hoppity)

Beloved Kermit the Frog Approaching 50
Kermit the Frog, that Muppet of all Muppets, has got to have other Hollywood stars green with envy. EDITOR'S NOTE: OUCH OUCH OUCH.

He's turning 50 years old next month but doesn't look a day over... well, he looks pretty much the same as in the mid-'50s, when he made some of his earliest appearances with puppeteer pal Jim Henson on the local Washington, D.C. TV show, "Sam and Friends."

And Kermit doesn't seem to have aged a day since getting his star-making breaks in the late 1960s, in the telefilm "Hey Cinderella" and on the children's TV series "Sesame Street."

"Well, you know, it's interesting being 50," Kermit said in a recent interview with AP Television News. "You start to reflect on your life. And you look back over the years at everything you've ever done. And, with age, middle age, comes wisdom. But I have to say that I'm not sure that 50 for me is the same as 50 in people years." EDITOR'S NOTE: NO. THE FROG IS PROBABLY MUCH WISER AT 50 THAN PEOPLE OF THE SAME AGE. (RIGHT, BOB? BECKY?)

In honor of Kermit's birthday, Buena Vista Home Entertainment has just released "The Muppet Show: Season One," a four-DVD box set that delivers all 24 episodes of the first season of the variety series, which originally aired from 1976-81.

"(It) has never been released in its entirety before; this is the first time," Kermit noted. "And, on there, not only do we have all those amazing guest stars like Sandy Duncan and Candice Bergen and Ruth Buzzi, Florence Henderson — all those original folks who worked with us back in the '70s. But we also have the original tape that we did to try to sell 'The Muppet Show,' as an extra, which I don't think the public has seen before."EDITOR'S NOTE: WHAT A GREAT PITCHMAN...ERR...FROG.

Other DVD bonuses include the original "Muppet Show" pilot, in which Kermit barely appeared, as well as a first-season gag reel.

Besides the Muppets themselves, "The Muppet Show: Season One's" star attractions are, indeed, the star attractions, including such legends as Lena Horne, Vincent Price and Ethel Merman.

"I'd have to say one of the memorable ones was probably the first guest we had, which was Juliet Prowse: a beautiful lady and talented performer," Kermit said. "She probably took a big chance coming on with a lot of farm animals."EDITOR'S NOTE: THEN AGAIN, COMPARED TO SOME OF HER (HUMAN) LEADING MEN, IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN IMPROVEMENT.

The frog also appears in another new DVD release, the telefilm "The Muppets Wizard of Oz," which originally aired in May.

"It stars Queen Latifah, David Alan Grier, and Jeffrey Tambor, along with Ashanti as Dorothy," said Kermit. "And Gonzo plays The Tin Thing, because he's not really a man. Fozzie is The Cowardly Lion. I am The Scarecrow. So, it's sort of a Muppet adaptation."

The DVD delivers an extended cut of the film, running 20 minutes longer than the broadcast version. And if that wasn't enough, we're likely to see a lot more of the green guy over the next year.

"I will be celebrating my 50th year in show business starting this September, and that's going to be like a yearlong celebration," he said. "And it'll be a whole year filled with things having to do with being green and frogs and all that sort of stuff."

As for Kermit's own private birthday bash? He's unsure what to expect, but he's prepared for anything from that wacky Muppet menagerie — even exotic dancers.

"Listen, you can send a stripper to my party if you like," he said. "It won't affect me because, as you can see, I am appearing naked, which I always try to do because I'm kind of a natural guy."
EDITOR'S NOTE: PLUS...HE'S A HAPPILY MARRIED FROG, RIGHT? (NEVER A MENTION OF MISS P. SIGH....SHE PUTS UP WITH SO MUCH TO MAINTAIN THE MYSTIQUE OF THEIR CAREERS).

Reading in short spurts doesn't tire out the lips

EDITOR'S NOTE: IT HAS BEEN SUGGESTED THAT I POST IN SMALLER SNIPPETS.

WHILE A LOT OF THE TIME THIS WILL BE TOO TIME-CONSUMING (DESPITE THE IMAGE I PUT FORTH, THERE IS NO GREAT WEALTH AND FAME COMING TO ME FROM BEING THE QOTD), HEREWITH, I WILL ATTEMPT SOME SHORTER POSTS.

MOSTLY, CAUSE THESE ITEMS DON'T SEEM TO GO WITH ANYTHING ELSE. (AND ALSO, CAUSE THIS ONE IS ABOUT SHORT STORIES, AND I LIKED THE SYMMETRY OF SHORT STORIES AND SHORT POSTING).

New on Amazon: Short StoriesFor 49 Cents
By MYLENE MANGALINDAN and JEFFREY TRACHTENBERG
Staff Reporters of THE WALL STREET JOURNAL
Amazon.com Inc. has a novel plan to sell literature that is shorter than novels.

The Internet retailer has begun selling short stories from popular authors, in digital form, that will be available exclusively on its Web site. Each story costs 49 cents. EDITOR'S NOTE: COOL BEANS!

Amazon's new program is another step in its fledgling digital-content strategy, based on the premise that original material can bring new customers to the company's site. Though not the first experiment with short-form writing on the Web, few companies with such broad influence in book retailing have become short-form publishers.

The new program, called Amazon Shorts, is starting with 59 authors, which include well-known names such as Danielle Steel and Terry Brooks. EDITOR'S NOTE: WILL THEY BE PAYING US TO READ DANIELLE STEEL? Their submissions range in length from about 2,000 to 10,000 words, which the company expects to translate into an average about seven pages each. Customers who purchase a piece can read it on the Web, download and print a copy, save it in a digital locker, or send the story to an email address.

Steve Kessel, Amazon's vice president of digital media, said short-form literature appeals to many readers but can't be efficiently distributed in paper form. "The economics didn't make sense," he said.

Digital distribution is less expensive and makes short-form literature easier to find for consumers, Mr. Kessel said. For authors, it can serve as a marketing tool, letting customers sample their work and maintain a presence in fans' minds until their next book is released, he said.

Daniel Wallace, author of the fictional novel "Big Fish," which was made into a movie with the same name, said the Amazon program is "a way to get into people's homes" and get his writing "to a lot of people who under normal circumstances wouldn't have the opportunity to see it."

The Seattle company has been adding forms of digital content -- books, music and movies -- to its Web site over the past year, with particular emphasis on original material. Last December, it offered short films that promoted products sold on the Amazon site. It later presented short films from amateur filmmakers' submissions to New York's Tribeca Film Festival. In July, Amazon Web cast short videos of celebrities delivering Amazon packages to customers, and broadcast a full-length concert with Norah Jones and Bob Dylan during its 10-year anniversary celebration.

So far, though, all these digital features have been free to Web surfers, so the new Amazon Shorts program represents a departure. Amazon also has been in talks with several music-label executives over the last several weeks about a coming digital music service, according to people familiar with the discussions. Presumably such a service also wouldn't be free.

"Amazon has taken a stance of thinking how people consume content," said Jeetil Patel, an analyst at Deutsche Bank Securities Inc.

Through digital distribution of literary shorts, Amazon can bypass the costs involved in producing and distributing books. But it's still unclear whether Amazon can make the economics of this new program work, Mr. Patel said. Amazon's Mr. Kessel declined to disclose the financial terms of the company's agreements with the authors.

Book publishers said they thought that Amazon's new service may encourage readers to try new authors. But some noted that short-form literature has never been wildly popular in the U.S.
David Steinberger, chief executive of Perseus Books LLC, a unit of Washington private-equity firm Perseus LLC, noted that short stories traditionally have limited sales appeal. When a well-known writer offers up a collection of short stories, they usually sell only a fraction of the numbers generated by their novels.

"Consumers have demonstrated they want book-length fiction," said Mr. Steinberger. EDITOR'S NOTE: YEAH, BUT FOR 49 CENTS, DON'T YOU THINK THERE'LL BE SOME NEW SAMPLING? (AND MUST THERE ALWAYS BE AN EYEORE AT EVERY PARTY?)!

He noted that there have been several business models premised on the idea that there is a type of written work longer than a newspaper or magazine article but shorter than a book for which there must be a market, and that the way to sell that material would be through digital downloads. But demand for such work hasn't materialized.

"Amazon, however, has a very dedicated audience, and they have the ability to generate add-on sales, so this could be a potential way to get an author trial at a very low cost."

Mr. Steinberger also said that Amazon's decision is somewhat predictable in that the lines between retailers and publishers have been blurring in recent years as publishers began to sell their own titles on the Web, while retailers such as Barnes & Noble Inc. invested more heavily in publishing their own books. The Web, he noted, removes barriers, in effect creating new opportunities for many.

"We're going to see new combinations," said Mr. Steinberger. "We'll see people who are partly a publisher, partly a distributor, partly a retailer."EDITOR'S NOTE: A ROSE IS A ROSE IS A ROSE.

Michael Pietsch, publisher of Time Warner Inc.'s Little, Brown imprint, described Amazon's strategy as "interesting" and said it may lead to greater book sales. He doesn't view the move as competitive, since Little, Brown doesn't sell stories on an individual basis.

"What this is about is the low cost of entry, which is one of the beauties of the Web," said Mr. Pietsch. "People will be able to sample writers for very little money, whereas they might not have paid $13.95 for a paperback or $24.95 for a hardcover. If readers like what they see, it may lead to future purchases, which would be good for us." EDITOR'S NOTE: WOW. I WONDER IF AMAZON THOUGHT OF ALL THAT! (PUNDITS. CAN'T SHOOT EM, CAN'T EAT EM FOR SUPPER).


Veggies before Dessert

EDITOR'S NOTE: A FEW QUICKIE/BREAKING ITEMS BEFORE WE GO BACK TO THE ARCANA OF DWEEBING.

THIS FIRST ONE ISN'T EXACTLY PRESSING NEWS. BUT IT'S TOO DARN WEIRD/FUNNY NOT TO POST IMMEDIATELY -----

MPAA pulls 'Saw II' finger ads
The MPAA has turned thumbs down on advertising materials featuring severed fingers EDITOR'S NOTE: YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT. SEVERED FINGERS. (WHICH I'D FRANKLY RATHER SEE THAN JESSICA SIMPSON'S DERRIERE IN THOSE STUPID SHORTS). that Lions Gate Films had distributed to Web sites to promote its upcoming horror film "Saw II."

In an announcement released Friday, the MPAA said its Advertising Administration, which reviews all advertising and publicity materials submitted by producers and distributors for a film rating, had not approved the material.

If it had, it would have found that "materials for the film 'Saw II' (that) display dismembered fingers ... is unacceptable under Advertising Administration standards." EDITOR'S NOTE: WERE YOU, LIKE ME, UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THE MPAA REALLY DIDN'T HAVE ANY STANDARDS? WHO KNEW?!

THIS NEXT ONE MIGHT BE PERCEIVED AS A SPOILER ITEM. FOR ANYONE NOT PAYING ATTENTION, I GUESS ----

RALLY FOR DOOMED 'ALIAS' STAR
FANS of Michael Vartan are frantically campaigning to save his character in ABC's "Alias" from being killed off — although it might already be too late.

Devotees of the handsome actor believe his character, Vaughn, is doomed now that his former girlfriend Jennifer Garner, the show's leading star, is married to Ben Affleck and pregnant.

After Garner split from her ex-hubby Scott Foley in March 2004, she dated Vartan for several months before ditching him for Affleck. Tension on the set was said to be high.

Some believe Garner now wants Vartan gone and has pressured producers to write him out of the series.

ABC is keeping tight-lipped and refuses to disclose any details about the new season.

Now comes word from an insider that Aug. 17 was Vartan's last day of shooting, when he was supposedly killed off. Fans have banded together to create mvcampaign.com to lobby for his resurrection. EDITOR'S NOTE: I THINK THIS MIGHT BE THE 'JUMP THE SHARK' MOMENT FOR THE SHOW, IF THEY KILL OFF VAUGHN. AS A FAN, I WILL BE VERY SAD.

ON THE OTHER HAND....PLAYING OUTSIDE IS NICE, TOO, FOLKS.

One insider said: "Many of Michael's fans feel he is being treated very poorly by ABC. He has always been a big promoter of the show, not to mention a great guy, and to have him fired in what is probably the last year of the show is unbelievable."

The Web site notes: "For the past four years many of us have invested our time, emotions and money in support of 'Alias' . . . Now, as we are about to venture into the fifth season, we find out that we may be losing one of the most integral, beloved, and interesting characters on the show.

"Many of us feel that if this were to occur, it would be showing the show, the viewers, and Mr. Vartan a huge lack of both respect and loyalty. After four years, we feel [they] deserve far more. So, we have decided to take action and do something to express our feelings to ABC."


A group of fans calling themselves "The Vartan Hos" is supporting the Web site. EDITOR'S NOTE: WITH A NAME LIKE THAT, IT IS BEYOND ME WHY THEY DON'T GET MUCH RESPECT. (SNICKER).

ABC has been deluged with letters, e-mails and phone calls from the campaign, a network insider moaned, while the campaign is also raising money to place an ad in Variety or the Hollywood Reporter.

A rep for ABC said: "We don't comment on plots. We encourage viewers to tune in and we promise they won't be disappointed." EDITOR'S NOTE: WE WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED? IN THE NETWORK AS A WHOLE, OR JUST ON THIS PLOT DEVELOPEMENT?

Vartan's rep didn't return calls.

A wee little Star Wars mishmash

EDITOR'S NOTE: JUST A FEW MISHYMASHY STAR WARS ITEMS TO GET OFF THE PLATE (OR ON IT?) BEFORE I MOVE ON TO TONS OF OTHER STUFF.

'Armed robber' was really a Stormtrooper at JVL-CON
By Danielle LetenyeiGazette Staff





The Force wasn't with a Stormtrooper-clad attendee of the JVL-CON science fiction convention on Friday at the Ramada Inn in Janesville. Instead, it had him surrounded.

Janesville police got a surprise when they responded to a report of an armed robbery at the Ramada Inn, 3431 Milton Ave. The alleged suspect was dressed as a Stormtrooper, a soldier for the Galactic Empire in the science fiction movie series "Star Wars."EDITOR'S NOTE: THE 'SCIENCE FICTION MOVIE STAR WARS'? AS OPPOSED TO SOME OTHER MOVIE CALLED "STAR WARS"? JANESVILLE IS THE HIND-QUARTER OF WHAT PODUNK REGION, EXACTLY?

"Apparently some people who saw him felt there was a threat," said Sgt. Kay Nikolaus of the Janesville Police Department. EDITOR'S NOTE: UNLIKE HOW THEY FEEL WHEN THEY SEE MEN IN UNIFORM WHO ARE TOTALLY CLUELESS AND CARRYING REAL GUNS.

The Stormtrooper was really a vendor participating in the weekend convention, held annually at the Ramada Inn, said Joann Lewandowski, who lives with event organizer Ray Norton.

"It was kind of silly but kind of understandable," Lewandowski said. EDITOR'S NOTE: I BET IN JANESVILLE 'SILLY BUT UNDERSTANDABLE' IS A SUMMER FESTIVAL IN THE TOWN SQUARE.

Whoever called police must have missed the Ramada's marquee out front, which announces the convention being held there, Lewandowski said.

The Stormtrooper got a warning from police-leave the plastic laser gun inside.

So, if you're passing the Ramada this weekend and you see a little green guy with pointy ears and wearing a robe, it shouldn't be an alien concept. EDITOR'S NOTE: OUCH. I'M GUESSING THE JANESVILLE PAPER ISN'T A STEPPING-STONE TO THE NEW YORK TIMES.

Sideshow Collectibles Star Wars Collector's Choice Polls
Choose the Star Wars Expanded Universe character you'd like to see Sideshow Collectibles create as a 12-inch figure by voting in their new poll.

This poll will be running from August 19 to November 4, allowing you, the collectors, to choose your favorite from the following pre-selected Expanded Universe characters: Kir Kanos, Grand Admiral Thrawn, Mara Jade, Padmé Amidala (Clone Wars arctic suit), Asajj Ventress, and Quinlan Vos. EDITOR'S NOTE: VERY TOUGH CHOICE. I ADORE THRAWN AND QUINLAN VOS. BUT IF I ONLY GET ONE VOTE....AND I DO...I GOTTA GO WITH THE KICK-BUTT-MOTHER-OF-LUKE'S-CHILD-CHICK THOUGH. MARA JADE GETS MY VOTE!

http://www.sideshowtoy.com/php/081905sweu.php?&source=swpoll

Exclusive STAR WARS Bounty Hunter Figure Gift Set
Diamond Comics will be offering in November/December an exclusive STAR WARS Bounty Hunter Figure Gift Set.

The figures will be a limited edition collector’s set. The window-boxed set features Lord Vader addressing the galaxy’s greatest 3 ¾” mercenaries: Zuckuss, 4-LOM, Dengar, IG-88, Bossk, and Boba Fett.


Click here for more info on the $34.99 set.

http://previews.diamondcomics.com/default.asp?t=1&m=1&c=23&s=132&ai=21502

Monday, August 22, 2005

Kicking off the week with a Giggle

EDITOR'S NOTE: BEST TO START THE WEEK OFF GENTLY, IF WE CAN.....
(THIS ONE WAS SENT IN BY NON-DWEEBPAL ANDREA B, A HOUSTON EXPAT IN LA).

Guide to Determine If You Are in a Jerry Bruckheimer Movie.
1. Your girlfriend is a waitress, but could be a model.

2. A bus explodes.

3. A psychopathic millionaire devises an elaborate plan to murder you or someone you know ..
4. ... and you feel compelled to stop it.

5. You are Nicholas Cage.

6. Despite a total lack of training, you are able to shoot and fight with the accuracy and ability of a special-forces soldier.

7. You are a cop or scientist, but could be a model.

8. A building explodes.

9. After capturing you, a terrorist with a foreign accent reveals the details of his plot in a long-winded speech.

10. The light always hits your face in just the right way.
EDITOR'S NOTE: WELL, OF COURSE THAT HAPPENS TO ME ANYWAY.....

11. You are in a shootout on the streets of a major city ...

12. ... and it involves helicopters and rocket launchers.

13. Everyone around you is a model.

14. Teams of well-trained henchmen are shooting at you, but they all miss.

15. You are engaged in a knockdown-dragout brawl with the leader of a major crime organization ..

16. ... in slow motion.

17. Everything that has not yet exploded explodes.

18. You save the world.

19. Your name is Jack.
EDITOR'S NOTE: WOW. MY LIFE IS JUST LIKE A JERRY BRUCKHEIMER MOVIE. UMMM....MINUS THE EXPLOSIONS, THE MODELS, THE GUNFIRE, AND ALL THE EXCITEMENT. BUT OTHER THAN THAT.....