Mid-Week at the Movies, dweebing

And Barkin Makes it OCEAN'S 13
Warner Bros. has announced Ellen Barkin has joined the cast of OCEAN'S THIRTEEN and filming will commence on July 21st. Barkin joins a cast which already includes George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Andy Garcia, Don Cheadle, Bernie Mac, Casey Affleck, Scott Caan, Eddie Jemison, Shaobo Qin, Carl Reiner and Elliott Gould.

Steven Soderbergh will once again direct. Brian Koppelman and David Levien wrote the script.
Filming will take place primarily in soundstages on the Warner Bros. lot, where a fully operational casino will be built. EDITOR'S NOTE: SURE HOPE IT'S AS MUCH FUN AS "OCEAN'S 12". (WHICH WAS A BIG LEAP UP FROM #11).

MUTANT Grabs Hold of Malkovich
Producer Edward J. Pressman has signed John Malkovich to star in THE MUTANT CHRONICLES. He will join Thomas Jane in the sci-fi action thriller.

Malkovic will play a 23rd century corporate overlord who heads a United Nations-style council of four corporation-run countries that have pillaged Earth's natural resources. When a marauding army of "NecroMutants" wages a battle against humans for the little that remains, he is tempted to destroy the planet and evacuate some of its people rather than allow it to be overtaken, all with the corporations' best interests in mind. EDITOR'S NOTE: WHY SET THIS SO FAR IN THE FUTURE? I MEAN, IT SOUNDS AN AWFUL LOT LIKE WHAT'S GOING NOW, HUH?

Simon Hunter will direct the film, which is based on the popular role-playing board game.

LaBeouf leading The Transformers?
If we learnt anything from “Project Greenlight” – besides that in order to make a movie, you have to sell your soul – it’s that young Shia LaBeouf is one in-demand actor. You’ll recall that LaBeouf was the likeable young chap that fronted the winning film of the second season, “The Battle of Shaker Heights”.

Well, seems he’s graduated from a small fries – thanks to some high-profile roles in films like “Constantine” and “I, Robot”- to a large serving of potato-ey goodness, with word that he’s in talks to star in the forthcoming live-action “Transformers” movie.

According to IGN FilmForce, the 19-year-old actor is up for the role of the film’s human protagonist "Sam" in the big-screen version of the 80’s toon fave. No doubt director Michael Bay will test a few other actors for the role, but from the sounds of it, LaBeouf might just have it in the bag.

“Transformers”, which will be executive produced by Steven Spielberg, and again follow the battles of robots that can turn conveniently into Taxi’s or Assault Vehicles at the click of a finger. EDITOR'S NOTE: IF I HAD THE POWER TO TRANSFORM INTO SOMETHING, I DON'T THINK I WOULD CHOOSE A TAXI. BUT MAYBE THAT'S JUST ME?

'Spider-Man' Secretary Dishes On Hero's Hookups, Black Suit
Elizabeth Banks' character gets close with Peter Parker, but who wears mysterious dark costume?
Elizabeth Banks knew it was coming, and the amiable, giggly "Slither" star was still willing to oblige. But she insisted that she has to maintain her limits.

"Honestly, you're killing me with these questions," Banks laughed. "I just don't want to be the one to give anything away 'cause Lord knows I don't want to anger anyone over at 'Spider-Man 3.' "

The 31-year-old actress, like series co-stars Topher Grace and Kirsten Dunst, has found herself caught up in a public tug-of-war with journalists and fans as they clamor for tiny tidbits on one of the most anticipated films in production. With more than a year remaining until fans see "Spider-Man 3," however, the Daily Bugle secretary was willing to break a little news.

"I do definitely sort of explore a little bit more of my relationship with Peter Parker," revealed Banks, who portrays J. Jonah Jameson employee Betty Brant in the movies.

"I learned my lesson a long time ago that you never comment on how big your part is going to be in movies because you can always be cut out."

Still, Banks admitted, the groundwork is being laid for a Peter-Betty relationship much like the office romance they shared in the comics. Banks discussed a list of Peter Parker paramours that will also include Mary Jane Watson (Dunst) and Gwen Stacy (Bryce Dallas Howard).

"Peter Parker — he actually is Hugh Hefner. "I think everyone knows he does end up with Mary Jane Watson," EDITOR'S NOTE: HARUMPH. HE'D BETTER END UP WITH MARY JANE (AFTER ALL WE...I MEAN HE...WENT THRU IN SPIDEY DEUX)! Banks said. "You'll just have to wait and see in 2007."

Banks' excitement does get the better of her, however, when talk turns to the recently leaked image of a mysterious figure in a black Spider-Man costume).

"They're really exploring the dark side of power, the power a superhero has," Banks said. "Do you use it all for good? That's the question. That's the main theme of the movie."

Pressed for a bit more, Banks would only reveal that she did see the black-suited figure walking around the set. Asked if there was any kind of white logo or trimming (which could indicate the villainous Venom rather than a new suit for Spidey), Banks dropped the bombshell that the suit is all one color: "It's black."

Banks insisted that she doesn't mind being peppered with such questions and that she's appreciative of her role in one of the most high-profile series in movie history.

"It is very cool; I'm really excited for people to see it," she said. "I worked not much longer in this movie than I did on the previous two movies, so that will be an indication of how big my role is, and then we'll see what they end up with in the actual movie."EDITOR'S NOTE: DOES SHE MEAN ON HER PREVIOUS TWO MOVIES? OR WAS THIS CHARACTER IN THE FIRST TWO SPIDEY FLICKS? (SHE MUST MEAN ON HER LAST TWO MOVIES)?

Jackson Will Lend Voice to Penguins Parody
ThinkFilm will release FARCE OF THE PENGUINS in the late summer. Samuel L. Jackson will narrate the parody of the documentary MARCH OF THE PENGUINS.

The "story" centers penguin survival and mating rituals and one bird's search for love while on a 70-mile trek with hedonistic buddies obsessed with getting laid.

Bob Saget wrote the script for the film and is also producing with David Permut.

Saget voices the lovestruck penguin. Also in the voice cast are Lewis Black, Mo'Nique and Tracy Morgan. Jason Alexander, James Belushi, Jason Biggs, Dane Cook, Harvey Fierstein, EDITOR'S NOTE: HARVEY F SEEMS TO BE OUR RECURRING CHARACTER OF THE DAY? (SEE PREVIOUS DWEEB POSTING) Whoopi Goldberg, Gilbert Gottfried, Norm Macdonald, Carlos Mencia, Alyson Hannigan, Jamie Kennedy, Jon Lovitz, Adam Duritz and John Stamos and Dave Coulier, also will voice characters.

Hanks finds room for 'Starbucks' film
Tom Hanks sure likes his triple venti latte.

The actor is attached to star in "How Starbucks Saved My Life," a nonfiction book proposal by Michael Gates Gill that was sold to Universal. Gus Van Sant is in negotiations to direct. Hanks will produce with Playtone partner Gary Goetzman.

The story centers on an older ad exec who loses his job and family and has to go to work at Starbucks to pay the bills. He befriends the young manager and learns about life and love. EDITOR'S NOTE: I THINK IT IS A TESTAMENT TO TOM HANKS' TALENT AND EVERYMAN CHARM THAT WE CAN KNOW THAT HE IS A ULTRA-SUCCESSFUL, POWERFUL HOLLYWOOD GUY, AND YET COMPLETELY BELIEVE HIM IN THESE SORT OF REGULAR JOE KINDS OF ROLES.

CAA-repped Gill is a nonfiction writer and speaker who co-wrote "Fired Up! The Dramatic Truth of What It Really Takes to Move from Fearful Employee to Successful, Fired Up Entrepreneur

Van Sant, repped by WMA, is attached to direct "The Time Traveler's Wife" at New Line. His credits include 2005's "Last Days."Playtone is developing "Charlie Wilson's War" at Universal and is behind the new HBO series "Big Love." Hanks, repped by CAA, next stars in "The Da Vinci Code."

Kidman goes on a mission with Kinberg
Nicole Kidman and writer Simon Kinberg are teaming on a spy thriller that was pre-emptively picked up by Regency Enterprises and 20th Century Fox. Kinberg will write the untitled project, while Kidman will star and produce via Fox-based Blueprint Films. Laurence Mark also is on board to produce with Jonathan King.

Story line details are being kept under wraps, but the film is described as being in the vein of "The Bourne Identity" but with a female protagonist

The latest Magnum P.I movie rumours
Have seen this whisper whisk around the web for a few days now, but didn’t want to post it until I’d spoken to an insider on this project. Just did that, and seems – although it’s apparently quite a while off yet, and nowhere near a start date, I’m told – there is a small amount of truth to it. The two guys in topic are indeed fighting it out for a handlebar moustache.

It’s been long rumoured that George Clooney is the studio fave to don the undersized shorts and windy Hawaiian shirt in the “Magnum P.I” movie, but apparently the former TV doc has competition. Vince Vaughn’s name is on the short-list too.

Now originally, Tom Selleck was going to return to reprise his trademark role for the film. The film’s producers actually liked the idea, but it’s the studio that balked at the suggestion – they’re just not interested in spending a pound of cash on a Selleck vehicle. Sad, because I know many of us would be eager to Selleck – regardless of age – back behind the wheel of that red Ferrari.

Vaughn is definitely in with a chance, because the guy that’s writing the film is scriptwriter Rawson Marshall Thurber, who also wrote “Dodgeball”, which starred Vaughn. But on the other hand, Clooney does have the pull. EDITOR'S NOTE: I DON'T SEE VAUGHN HAVING THE CHARISMA THAT MADE MAGNUM SUCH A POPULAR CHARACTER. YES, THERE WERE HUMOROUS ASPECTS TO THE SHOW, BUT THERE WAS A LOT OF GRAVITAS TOO. AND I'VE NEVER SEEN VAUGHN NOT WINK AT THE CAMERA. I'D ALMOST LOVE TO SEE CLOONEY WITH SELLECK...BROTHERS OR SOMETHING? (AND MAYBE CLOONEY COULD TALK SELLECK OVER TO THE LIGHT SIDE OF THE POLITICAL FENCE DURING FILMING!)

Lost star has a Point
“Lost” is doing miraculous things for Matthew Fox’s career – seemingly so much more than anything the long running “Party of Five did, especially when it comes to work outside the tube.

(Which begs the question….just how long is Jack for the Island?) EDITOR'S NOTE: NO! DON'T SAY THAT!

Hot on the heels of his new football movie with Matthew McConaughey, “We are Marshall”, Fox has been offered a plum role in “Vantage Point”, a new thriller opposite Dennis Quaid.

“XXX” Producer Neal H.Moritz is producing the film, which tells of an attempted assassination of the president from five different points of view. Quaid and Fox will star as secret service agents.

The director is Pete Travis, director of the recent festival fave “Omagh”, about the aftermath of the 1998 Real IRA bombing that killed 29 people in Omagh, Northern Ireland. He’s also helmed episodes of TV’s “Cold Feet” and “Other People’s Children”.

The writer is a newbie named Barry Levy.

Ain't it Kevin Smith News?
Apparently a bad case of wind – as in Hawaiian storms, not the stinky kind – has prevented “Lost” star Jorge Garcia (Hurley) from playing Aint it Cool News’ webmaster Harry Knowles in the forthcoming film “Fanboys”.

Instead, the king of the geeks and the mac-daddy of the fart-film, Kevin Smith, will be donning the red wig and stuffy jumper to play Knowles.

Knowles, speaking on his site, says: “I'm now officially scared to death and giddy as hell. Word has it that the producers, writers and director have given Kevin complete free reign to create "Harry Knowles" - Can you imagine Kevin in the red hair and beard... the prosthetics... f*&^ casting THE BLOB, the fat character of the century has found its actor. I am dying to see this.”

This film is sounding crazier, and more exciting by the day. For those that haven’t heard about it, it’s about “four awesome guys who are 'Star Wars'-obsessed and they drive cross-country to break into [George] Lucas' ranch to steal the final episode”, according to the star of the thing, spunky Kristen Bell (“Veronica Mars”). EDITOR'S NOTE: I'D SAY BEING A DWEEB IS MORE FUN USUALLY THAN WATCHING THEM. BUT KRISTEN BELL ROCKS.

'Frank' toasts Shapiro as new helmer
Alan Shapiro has been tapped to direct the indie family comedy "Frank," with Darrell Hammond and Missi Pyle in negotiations to star. Bay Area-based production and financing company Bright Line Films will finance the film alongside Cabiria Prods. of Turin, Italy. Bright Line principal Robin Bradford penned the screenplay and is producing.

The story centers on an abandoned dog who ingratiates himself with a family vacationing on an idyllic island. Hammond and Pyle would play the husband and wife EDITOR'S NOTE: DOGGIE!

New Line, Coraci go 'Hawaiian'
Frank Coraci is attached to direct "Hawaiian Dick," a supernatural private eye thriller being produced by Practical Pictures' Craig Perry and Quattro Media's Jim Strader for New Line Cinema.

Set in 1953 Hawaii, "Hawaiian" tells the story of a down-on-his-luck big-city detective who gets involved in a kidnapping case of a local island girl who turns up dead but won't stay that way.

The script, by Damian Shannon and Mark Swift ("Freddy vs. Jason"), is based on the 2002 comic by B. Clay Moore and Steven Griffin. Johnny Knoxville was at one point pegged to star.