Tuesday, March 15, 2005

A cacophony of dweebing



'Lord of the Rings' to take to stage as musical --
After setting cinema box office records around the world, "The Lord of the Rings" is to take to the stage as a musical, the producers announced to Reuters on Tuesday.

The show, based on the fantasy classic by J.R.R. Tolkien, is to open in March 2006 in Toronto and come to London six months later. But the producers have promised to go back to the original tale of Middle Earth and not try to reproduce the dazzling special effects from the movie trilogy, which earned $3 billion worldwide and garnered a string of Oscars. EDITOR'S NOTE: THERE IS NO WAY TO COMMENT ON THIS AND DO IT JUSTICE. (CAN'T WAIT FOR THE SAMWISE/FRODO LOVE SONG, THOUGH)

Lord of the Rings Tradable Miniatures Game BalrogSabertooth
List Price:$44.99

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Towering over the heroes of The Lord of the Rings Tradeable Miniatures Game this December comes the Balrog, a fierce 9" tall figure with an impressive wing span of nearly a foot. Its finely-detailed sculpt and monstrous size are sure to strike terror into the hearts of all who see him!

Made of fully painted injection-molded plastic, this is a beautiful piece for your gaming table. Packaged with a new version of Gandalf , this latest in the Premium Line series is a must for collectors and players alike.


Which movie character's job would you want?
Hollywood stars have glamorous lives, beautiful spouses and stratospheric paychecks.

But between their on-again-off-again romances, legal troubles and paparazzi stalkers, sometimes it's not the lives of the rich and famous that make us seethe with envy.

Instead, it's the glamorous lives of their movie characters that really have us turning green.

CareerBuilder.com recently asked 1,202 people to name the movie character whose job they're dying to steal. Here are some of the most popular answers -- and why those jobs may not be all they're cracked up to be.

1. Don Vito Corleone -- mob boss from the 'Godfather' series:
As head of a New York City mafia family, Corleone seems to have it all -- money, prestige, power. And as one worker told CareerBuilder, "There's nothing like "axing" somebody after a long day at the office."

But in real life, it's next to impossible to break into the business, and most of your work is illegal or dangerous. Unless you're up to being killed, thrown into prison or entering the Witness Protection Program, this may not be the career path for you. EDITOR'S NOTE: THEN AGAIN, THE RIGHT 'AXING' MAKES IT ALL WORTHWHILE. (SHALL WE NAME NAMES?)

2. Andrew Shepherd -- "The American President":
As leader of the free world, the President of the United States heads up the executive branch of the U.S. government. The president's innumerable responsibilities include signing federal bills into law, appointing Supreme Court justices and making important domestic and foreign policy decisions. EDITOR'S NOTE: PLUS, THERE'S THE ROBBING FROM THE POOR AND GIVING TO THE RICH, THE PILLAGING OF OUR FUTURE, THE DESECRATION OF THE ENVIRONMENT.....AND THAT'S JUST ON TUESDAYS!

The salary and benefits aren't bad either -- an annual salary of $400,000 a year, including a $50,000 expense account. But remember, only 43 people have held this job -- ever -- and job security isn't so hot, since you're literally campaigning for your job every four years.

3. Obi Wan Kenobi -- legendary Jedi knight from the "Star Wars" series:
Sure, being a protector of the galaxy would be appealing, but you may want to consider a more um, realistic job for the immediate future.EDITOR'S NOTE: SPOILSPORT! (BESIDES, JEDI KNIGHT IS MORE REAL THAN AD EXEC!)

4. Gordon Gekko -- stockbroker, "Wall Street":
One of Wall Street's most feared traders, Gekko credits hard work and values of capitalism for his whopping success. Forbes magazine ranks Gekko fourteenth on its Fictional 15 list, estimating his net worth at $650 million.

But to snag Gekko's lifestyle, you better be prepared for work, work, work ("Lunch is for wimps"), and have a healthy dose of greed ("Greed is good"). Plus, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, median annual earnings in Gekko's industry aren't nearly so high -- $60,990.

5. Mary Fiore -- wedding consultant, 'The Wedding Planner':
Wedding consultants help the bride and groom plan their wedding, assisting with everything from the food to the lighting. They schmooze with vendors and advocate for their clients, ensuring the wedding is a smooth as the silk bridal gown.

According to the Princeton Review, consultants usually charge about 15 percent of the cost of the wedding, with the average wedding costing about $20,000. However, business can be very irregular, and since you're dealing with incredibly stressed, emotional families, the work can be extremely hard on the nerves.

6. Indiana Jones -- archaeologist and adventurer, "Raiders of the Lost Ark":
Indiana Jones' missions send him darting through caves, searching for treasures and barely escaping a giant rolling boulder. But the real life of an archaeologist isn't nearly so exciting.

Archaeologists study past human cultures by recovering and examining material evidence like ruins. Still interesting work, but if you're looking for dangerous submarine rides, be warned: according to the Princeton Review, you're more likely to "... carefully dust a fragment of a Mayan temple with a toothbrush or measure and examine thousands of tiny, nearly identical chipped stone axes."EDITOR'S NOTE: CAN I BE A JEDI KNIGHT DATING INDIANA JONES?

7. James Bond -- spy, "007 Series":
Adventure, gadgets and an endless stream of beautiful women... what a life. According to Vault.com, some real-life benefits of working as an American spy -- for the CIA that is -- are possible code names and opportunities to alter the world's balance of power.

But one insider calls the job "... very patriotic with little reward other than knowing you are doing your best to help keep America strong." And chances are, real spies won't be allowed to draw nearly so much attention to themselves as Bond does. EDITOR'S NOTE: UNTIL THE TRIAL, AT ANY RATE.

Imax brings 3-D tech into 21st century
A 3-D revival is under way. Today, as international distributors gather at ShoWest 2005 in Las Vegas, Imax Corp. plans to announce its new 3-D live action technology at the convention.

Considered a killer app for the company, the technology makes it possible to convert any 2-D 35mm film for Imax's large-screen 3-D environment.

During the course of the convention, 3-D-related discussions and announcements also are expected from George Lucas, James Cameron, Mann Theatres and Texas Instruments.

"Going into ShoWest this year we all thought the major theme would be movie piracy," said Ted Costas, Inter-Society president and director of production services at Dolby Laboratories. "Now it looks like there will be a big focus on exhibiting in digital 3-D."

Author chosen to write Peter Pan sequel
Peter Pan and the wily Captain Hook are set for a rematch.

Children's author Geraldine McCaughrean has been chosen to write the official sequel to J.M. Barrie's "Peter Pan," the London hospital that holds the copyright to the classic work said Sunday.

Barrie willed the "Peter Pan" copyright and royalties to the Great Ormond Street Hospital when he died in 1937 and the institution has long wanted to commission a follow-up. It has stipulated that the new work, titled "Captain Pan" must feature the original characters: the boy who never grew up along with his pals Wendy, fairy Tinkerbell and the Lost Boys -- as well as the fearsome pirate Hook.

"It is an astonishing, daunting privilege to be let loose in Neverland, armed with nothing but a pen, and knowing I'm walking in Barrie's revered footsteps," said McCaughrean, 53, the three-time winner of the Britain's prestigious Whitbread Children's Book of the Year.


2-CD Elmer Bernstein Collection Due from Silva Screen
Silva Screen Records has announced the Elmer Bernstein Film Music Collection, a specially priced 2CD set with over 110 minutes of some of the greatest film music in the history of cinema.

The release includes new digital recordings performed by the acclaimed City Of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra and National Youth Jazz Band, including world premiere recordings from THE BIRDMAN OF ALCATRAZ, THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE, AIRPLANE! and AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON.

In 2004 the world of cinema lost one of the most iconic figures in film composing,” notes Silva Screen on their web site. “In a career that spanned half-a-century and over 250 films, Elmer Bernstein was responsible for writing the music to many of the greatest and most loved movies of all time ranging from THE TEN COMMANDMENTS, THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN and THE GREAT ESCAPE, through to TRUE GRIT and AIRPLANE! This collection has been lovingly created and compiled as a tribute to a genius and true master of the art of film scoring.”

LOST to be Found on DVD

Word is getting out that ABC's LOST: Season 1 is heading to DVD on 9/6/2005.

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