Klingon FUGITIVE Alert!
Police Seek Klingon For Questioning/Star Trek prop seized by local cops
A police knife amnesty appears to have got off to a flying start with even alien criminals giving up their arms in the face of stern looks from the local bobby.
The national initiative,EDITOR'S NOTE: IN ENGLAND, FYI... which began yesterday and continues until 30 June, is predicted to see 30,000 illegal blades turned over to authorities with no questions asked.
Most surprising, though, was the unexpected surrender of a Klingon bat'leth.The traditional melee weapon of Klingon warriors, the bat'leth has struck fear into the hearts of countless alien races, wielded to deadly effect by those loyal to the great Klingon Empire.
The long history of the weapon dates back to the days of Kahless the Unforgettable, who, as the legend goes, dropped a lock of his hair into lava from the Kri'stak Volcano, and then plunged the fiery lock into the lake of Lursor and twisted it to form a blade. EDITOR'S NOTE: NO. REALLY! YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!
The seized bat'leth is pictured in the custody of a stern-faced police officer and ran in today's Metro alongside the caption 'A policeman with a 5ft blade designed to decapitate victims and seized by officers ahead of the knife amnesty'.
It seems both the local constabulary and the daily newspaper need to better familiarise themselves with popular science fiction.
A suspect has been taken into custody over the seizure* and police have released this likeness of the man being questioned.
When asked for a statement by authorities, the suspect is reported to have declared: "QaplH ponDu 'ooe'ml SoeHQ Ke'bl jllspl Dlavtl!"EDITOR'S NOTE: ANY TREKKIES OUT THERE READY WITH A TRANSLATION? IT SAYS 'BITE ME' IN KLINGON? (ALTHOUGH, TRUTH TO TELL, EVERYTHING IN KLINGON KINDA SOUNDS LIKE A KISS OFF).
*this part may be a lie. EDITOR'S NOTE: YEAH. CAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT KLINGONS ARE NOT FROM ENGLAND, THEY'RE FROM FRANCE.