A veritable (Tuesday)Hodgepodge

A WEE BIT MORE HARRY POTTER:
Potter orders break million mark
Posters announce the imminent arrival of the new Harry Potter book
Worldwide advance orders for the new Harry Potter book have exceeded one million, says online retailer Amazon.

At this rate, pre-orders should top the 1.3 million pre-orders received for the previous Harry Potter book in 2003.

Amazon's UK arm has already taken more than 200,000 pre-orders of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, published in the US and UK on 16 July.

Last week US chain Barnes and Noble said advance orders had topped 750,000 and were expected to exceed a million.

"Amazon customers are clearly incredibly excited about the sixth Harry Potter book," said Kes Nielsen, senior vendor relations manager at Amazon.co.uk.

Huge discounts
However, some smaller bookshops claim their sales will suffer due to the huge discounts Amazon and other retailers are offering on the latest instalment of JK Rowling's boy wizard saga.

The Half-Blood Prince topped Amazon.co.uk's book chart less than 24 hours after its release date was announced last December.

The children's and adult versions of the title have remained in the top two spots ever since.

The book will be published simultaneously in the UK, the US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa.

The Potter book series has inspired three hit movies, with a fourth - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - due to be released on 18 November.

Man in Harry Potter scheme appears in court
Christopher Brown, 38, pleaded not guilty Monday to plotting to sell two stolen copies of J.K. Rowling's latest Harry Potter sequel, The Half Blood Prince.

Brown faces charges of helping in the theft of the book copies and of possessing a weapon. He was ordered to appear for trial on Aug. 8 and released on bail.

Brown and another man, Aaron Lambert, 19, were arrested on June 3 after allegedly trying to sell a copy of The Half Blood Prince to a newspaper reporter. Police say a gun was fired near the reporter when he came to meet them.

Lambert is due to appear in court on Oct. 10, accused of possessing an imitation firearm with intent to cause fear of violence and of stealing two copies of the book from a distribution centre in central England.

HP in National Geographic Kids
A short blurb in the June/July issue of National Geographic Kids says JK Rowling may write an 8th Potter book full of scenes that were cut from the first 7. EDITOR'S NOTE: WOOHOO!! ALTHOUGH THIS MEANS I HAVE TO WAIT THAT MUCH LONGER TO JUMP OFF MY END-OF-MEANINGFUL-DWEEBING BRIDGE. NOT SURE HOW LONG I WANT TO HANG AROUND JUST FOR THESE CREATIVE GENIUSES TO FINISH UP THEIR MASTERWORKS. (I MIGHT HAVE TO GO AHEAD AND CREATE ONE OF MY OWN. PRESSURE.....)

Jo has suggested in the past that she might write an encyclopedia containing everything she couldn't fit in the original series. EDITOR'S NOTE: AND SHE'S LIKE UNCLE GEORGE; SHE HAS ACRES OF BACK-STORY AND DWEEB-FANTASTICAL MINUTIA. GROOVY!

The "Burning Question" feature in the issue asks Dan Radcliffe if he could be any kind of animal, what would he be. Dan's answer: an owl. EDITOR'S NOTE: AWWW.

Happy Birthday Dobby
JKRowling.com has updated to wish Dobby the House Elf a happy birthday. EDITOR'S NOTE: THIS WAS YESTERDAY, ACTUALLY. (HAPPY BELATED, DOBSTER!)

First shipment of HBP lands in the US
Barnes & Noble have announced that the first US shipment of HBP have landed at Jamesburg, New Jersey. EDITOR'S NOTE: COME WEST AND SEE PRETTIER STATES!

It is expected, between now and the book's release date, that they will receive a caravan of 124 tractor-trailers weighing more than four million pounds. That's a lot of books. EDITOR'S NOTE: AND ONE OF THEM BE MINE!


A train crosses the Glenfinnan Viaduct near Fort William, featured in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
Picture: David Mitchell








Harry Potter and the tourism bonanza
BEN MCCONVILLE
JK ROWLING'S boy wizard returns to the bookshelves on July 16 with the eagerly anticipated latest instalment of the Hogwarts franchise, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.But the new novel might also be called Harry Potter and the Tourism Bonanza.

Like the so-called Braveheart effect in the mid-1990s, the Potter books and spin off films are creating such a stir among fans they are heading to Scotland to drink in some of the atmosphere.

For decades fans of Robert Burns, Robert Louis Stevenson and Sir Walter Scott have beaten a trail to Scotland in search of the inspiration for some of the world's greatest literature.

Now the novels about the young wizard and his friends at Hogwarts school are at the forefront of Scotland's booming literary tourism trade.

Contemporary authors based in Scotland such as JK Rowling, along with native Scots Ian Rankin and Irvine Welsh, have helped fuel this tourism boom. Books set in Scotland are also having an impact with Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code encouraging tourists to flock to Rosslyn Chapel on the outskirts of Edinburgh. The novel's climax is set in the 15th century church.

One beneficiary of the Potter phenomenon is the Glenfinnan Monument near Fort William. It is located close to the Glenfinnan viaduct which features in the most stunning scene of the Chamber of Secrets film when Harry's flying Ford Anglia is nearly run over by the Hogwarts Express.

Although the monument is a memorial to the doomed Jacobite uprising of 1745 led by Prince Charles Edward Stuart, the visitor centre there saw a sharp increase in figures following the film's release in 2002. In 2001 some 18,000 tourists visited the site and by 2003 this had jumped to 22,125.

The centre is run by the National Trust for Scotland, which witnessed a similar increase in interest at the Wallace monument in Stirling following the 1995 Braveheart film.

Ian Gardner of NTS said: "These are the figures for visitors actually going through the centre, I'm sure many more went straight to the viaduct to get the Potter experience.

"There's no doubt that the pleasant spin off from the Potter movies for us is that more people have come to see the Glenfinnan monument.

"The Braveheart factor has shown there can be a significant rising of awareness in Scottish history and heritage through film and books.

"It wasn't only foreign tourists who were moved to come to the Wallace Monument, it was Scots too, who had found a renewed interest in their heritage."

Worldwide interest in Brown's international bestseller The Da Vinci Code has led to a seven fold increase in visitors to the historic Rosslyn Chapel in the Midlothian village of Roslin.

In 1995 about 9,500 visitors came to the see the church with its Masonic symbols and intricate carvings. In 2003, the year the work of fiction was published, the number had risen to 38,000 and more than 68,000 visited the site in 2004.

Stuart Beattie, director of the chapel is now braced for even more visitors when the film of the book, starring Tom Hanks, is released next year. The chapel has agreed to allow filming there later in 2005.

Beattie said: "There is no doubt this book has raised awareness of the chapel and this is an exciting time for us. It means a great deal to us that it has been promoted in this way, but it also means we have had to change our programme of improving the facilities here.

"Next year we are expecting anything up to 100,000 visitors, especially when the film comes out. So, for example, we’ve had to upgrade the car parking facilities a year in advance of our plans to accommodate the interest." EDITOR'S NOTE: AT LEAST THEY ARE FORE-WARNED SO THE INCREASED INTEREST DOESN'T DO THEM MORE HARM THAN GOOD.

As well as upgrading the car park, the chapel is to recruit a full-time visitor services manager to cope with the influx of visitors and to allow other staff to concentrate on the renovtion of the chapel.

Tourism agency
Visitscotland believes literature will continue to be a major attraction for overseas visitors.

While fans of Scott have flocked to his home at Abbotsford in the Borders and to Burns' cottage in Alloway, Edinburgh has become the Unesco city of literature.

A number of literary tours have also sprung up in the city, including the Rebus tour, where devotees of Edinburgh's roughest detective can sample the delights of the St Leonard's area and the Trainspotting tour around some the landmarks of Leith used in the novel and the film. EDITOR'S NOTE: MIND-DEVASTATING DRUGS EXTRA?Next year a "Magic and Mystery Tour" of Scotland is planned, no doubt taking in some the sites from current popular novels.

A spokeswoman said: "Books and movies do stimulate interest and it’s good for Scotland to see increased tourism numbers as a result.

"There are no overall figures for literary tourism, as most visitors go to other events and sites. But from the individual attractions, it's obvious there is a draw there.

"The Potter books' associations with Scotland have been a great boon. We believe that with the Da Vinci Code film will be the next Braveheart." EDITOR'S NOTE: AND HOPEFULLY A BETTER MOVIE?

This article: http://heritage.scotsman.com/traditions.cfm?id=688352005

A LITTLE TV:
Giamatti SCREWS-ON for Sci-Fi Channel
The Sci Fi Channel has signed actor Paul Giamatti to voice the lead charater in a new animated series AMAZING SCREW-ON HEAD, which is based on the comic book by Mike Mignola.

Giamatti joins a cast that already includes the voices of David Hyde Pierce, Molly Shannon and Patton Oswalt.

The story, set in the 1860's, will center on a Civil War-era secret agent (Giamatti) at the service of president Abraham Lincoln and an unsung hero who never made it into the history books. His special power is the ability to screw his head onto a variety of different bodies. Hyde Pierce will play Emperor Zombie, while Shannon will voice Patience the Vampire and Oswalt plays Mr. Groin. EDITOR'S NOTE: SO GLAD WE GAVE UP "FARSCAPE"; WE COULD HAVE MISSED OUT ON THIS.

Jason Netter and WONDERFALLS's Bryan Fuller will executive produce.

Lions Gate gets 'Crash' course in TV
After a detour to the big screen, Paul Haggis' "Crash" is about to reach its original destination: television.

FX has put in development a TV series based on Lions Gate Films' hit indie to be produced by Lions Gate Television.

Don Cheadle, one of the stars of the gritty drama about race relations in post-Sept. 11 Los Angeles, is likely to appear in and direct several episodes of the project if it goes into series.

Sources said talks are under way with all other members of the cast, including Sandra Bullock, Matt Dillon, Brendan Fraser and rapper Ludacris, to reprise their roles from the film. Bobby Moresco, who co-penned the script for "Crash" with Haggis, is in negotiations with Lions Gate TV to write the pilot script, sources said. EDITOR'S NOTE: REALLY GREAT, INTELLIGENT MOVIE. AND SO DEPRESSING I CAN'T IMAGINE BEING ABLE TO HAVE IT IN MY TV ROOM EVERY WEEK.

BBC America broadens sked with new adds
The musical love story/thriller "Viva Blackpool" and the gritty medical drama "Bodies" are among the slate of new co-productions that BBC America announced Monday.

Other new projects include a made-for-TV movie starring Bill Nighy and Miranda Richardson, the miniseries "Messiah: The Promise," the comedy-drama series "Love Soup" and comedy show "The Robinsons."

The slate announcement follows news in January that BBC America is doubling its programming budget over the next two years EDITOR’S NOTE: I JUST GOT THRU WATCHING TWO 2-HOUR INSTALLMENTS OF CLIVE OWEN IN “SECOND SIGHT”. BRING THAT BACK? (PRETTY PLEASE WITH SUGAR ON TOP?)

AMC, Duvall saddle oaterNet gambles $15 mil on horse opera
AMC has engineered the priciest original programming deal in its history, spending $15 million for a four-hour miniseries exec produced by and starring Robert Duvall. Duvall and longtime friend Alan Geoffrion developed "Daughters of Joy," an epic adventure set in the Old West.

Cumming to guest star on 'L Word'
Alan Cumming, who played the blue-skinned Nightcrawler in "X2: X-Men United," will guest star as a party promoter on Showtime's "The L Word," now in production on its third season.

Cumming will appear in six episodes, Showtime said Wednesday.

Twelve new hour-long episodes of the sexy melodrama about lesbian life in Los Angeles are scheduled to premiere next year.

Discovery taps Turturro to host 'Screening Room'
Discovery Times Channel has named John Turturro host of its new documentary showcase series "Discovery Times Screening Room."

The series, which offers a unique perspective on topical issues, begins July 7 with the network premiere of "Promises," an examination of Israeli-Palestinian relations.

A LITTLE MOVIE MUSIC:
The Thing About The Fantastic Four Soundtracks
Careful – the first soundtrack album for THE FANTASTIC FOUR movie won’t be the actual film score, but the obligatory exploitative song compilation release.

Released on Wind-Up records on July 5th, the “various artists” soundtrack, entitled Fantastic Four - The Album, features the usual assortment of pop tunes barely heard in the film, including new music from Velvet Revolver, Joss Stone, Ben Moody featuring Anastacia, Sum 41, Taking Back Sunday, Chingy, and Ryan Cabrera, plus the debut of two highly anticipated Wind-up artists, Megan McCauley and Omnisoul.

The real soundtrack music, however, will appear on July 12th from Varese Sarabande. The epic score for FANTASTIC FOUR was composed by X2 composer John Ottman.

Scored for a huge orchestra and capturing the scope of the picture, Fantastic Four may well become one of the classic scores of the comic book genre.

See the May/June issue of Film Score Monthly magazine for a short interview with Ottman about his FF score.

A LITTLE MOVIE STUFF:
BOURNE Yet Again

Universal Pictures has hired Tony Gilroy to write THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM. Gilory will be paid close to $2 million for the assignment. He will base it on the Robert Ludlum's series of books.

Matt Damon has not officially signed on to the film, and most likely will not until a script is completed. No director is attached yet either. EDITOR'S NOTE: READ IT MORE CAREFULLY THAN YOU DID LAST TIME, MR. DAMON. I DON'T WANT THEM TO MAKE A BOURNE MOVIE WITHOUT YOU, BUT I REALLY DON'T ANOTHER LET DOWN LIKE B2. (AND IT IS ABOUT ME. YOU GOT THE MEMO, RIGHT?)

KONG is King of the Trailers EDITOR'S NOTE: NICE WIDDLE MONKEY.......

In case you missed the airing of the trailer for Peter Jackson's KING KONG, here is a direct link to see it: www.kingkongmovie.com

The film opens December 14th. EDITOR’S NOTE: MY FIRST TAKE ON THE TRAILER...... ADRIEN BRODY. YUMMY. MONKEY, OK. NAOMI WATTS…..NOT MEANT FOR A PERIOD PIECE?

Depp on PIRATES 2 & 3
How is it shooting two films at the same time?
Johnny Depp: Well, it's a lengthy process. It's going to take us a while.

Over 9 months?
JD: Maybe more.

Are you shooting the films back to back?
JD: As much as we can, we are doing two, and every now and then, you may have to slot something in from "Pirates 3", but the majority of what we have done so far have been 2 and then we will start moving into 3 after the hiatus. It's been great fun so far

Why did you choose to revisit the role of Captain Jack?
JD: For me, there was only reason and one reason only, it was Captain Jack. It was selfishly to have the opportunity to play Captain Jack again. Some people can look at it and say, "Depp sold out." I don't believe that I have. It certainly wasn't my attention to sell out but I wanted to play again because I think he's so much fun to play and I think there is so much more to explore with that character that I would keep going. If they wanted me to do "Pirate 7", why not?

What will we see this time around?
JD: In "Pirates 2 & 3", you will get to see a couple of new layers to Captain Jack. You will get to see him in new situations; situations that he is unable to talk his way out of. There's a lot of fun stuff.

Will Keith Richards be in the film?
JD: It's looking very good. I've talk to Keith about it and he's been super sweet and keen to do it and it's looking very good. We are just hoping that we can work out the dates with the Stones tour and everything but if that happens, you talk about a dream come true. Get to be a pirate with Keith Richards? Does it get better than that? EDITOR'S NOTE: NO, JOHNNY, NO. I GUESS IT DOESN'T.

CHICKEN LITTLE to go 3-D Big Time

Walt Disney Feature Animation will team up with Dolby Digital Cinema and Industrial Light + Magic to release CHICKEN LITTLE in 3-D.

The film will be digitally projected on 100 customized screens. EDITOR'S NOTE: OK. I THOUGHT PIRATES AND OLD ROCK STARS WAS THE TOP OF THE WORLD. BUT NOW I'M THINKIN ENOURMOUS 3-D FARM ANIMALS MIGHT JUST BE AS GOOD AS IT GETS.

CHICKEN opens November 4th.

Park wins film award with 'Gromit' in tow
AMSTERDAM -- A clay dog and his grinning owner were the stars of the show Monday at Cinema Expo International as Oscar-winning animator Nick Park jetted in to present a sneak preview of DreamWorks' "Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit." EDITOR'S NOTE: GIGGLE. THEY COULD JUST SAY THE TITLE OVER AND OVER AND MAKE ME LAUGH.

In the film, Park's best-known claymation characters make their feature-length debut in a tale about their efforts to stop a plague of rabbits eating the townspeople's prize vegetables.

A giant inflatable Gromit dominated the car park outside the RAI International Exhibition and Congress Center, which hosts the exhibitors' event, and several of the finely crafted sets used in the movie were on display in the lobby.

Wilson, Larson give a 'Hoot' for NL family film
Luke Wilson is boarding "Hoot," Walden Media and New Line Cinema's adaptation of Carl Hiaasen's Newbery Award-winning book of the same name.

Brie EDITOR'S NOTE: THEY NAMED THEIR KID AFTER A CHEESE?Larson also has joined the cast of the picture, which is being produced by Frank Marshall and Jimmy Buffett.

Written and directed by Wil Shriner, "Hoot" centers on a young Montana boy who moves with his family to Florida, where he uncovers a plot to systematically destroy a local population of endangered owls. The boy ends up battling unusual creatures and eccentric adults in order to save the owls.

Wilson will portray David Delinko, a bumbling cop whose investigation is stymied by the boy and his friend (Larson). Logan Lerman already has been cast as the boy

Has Maggie Grace left X-Men 3?
If the whisper is true, then a couple of thousand just cancelled their option to pre-purchase tickets. According to a rumour on Deadpool's Blog - via Superhero Hype - that divine spunkrat christened Maggie Grace ["Lost"] may be out of "X-Men 3". She was to play Kitty Pryde.

According to the site, the production team have announced they're looking for a new foxy mutant to fill the blonde superstar's hot pants.

No reason is given why Grace has apparently left the film.

Meantime, Variety reports that a third "X-Men" spin-off - milk anyone? - could be in the works. Dark Phoenix? Mystique? Freddy vs.Jason vs.Storm? EDITOR'S NOTE: THE DWEEBLETTER MANAGEMENT CLAIMS NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS POST OR THE SOURCE AUTHOR'S LIMP FAN-BOY SNARKING.

FOR DWEEBPAL BECKY....PERHAPS THE ONLY ONE OF US WHO CARES ABOUT ADRIAN PAUL AND/OR HIGHLANDER? (PERSONALIZED SERVICE IN OUR DWEEBING,HUH?)

Adrian Paul to star in Highlander 5
Looks like Duncan-buffs are in for a bit of a treat.

Adrian Paul - who was never officially going to do anymore in the immortal "Highlander" franchise - has signed on to reprise his role as Duncan McCloud in the fifth - that's a whole hand of Christopher Lambert - "Highlander" film.

Highlander 5 will be filming later this year in Eastern Europe, with a script by David Abramowitz, who was the head writer on the TV Series. Adrian will star in the film, and he will also be an Executive Producer.

La Femme Nikita vs. Superman
Former "La Femme Nikita" star Peta Wilson has been snapped up for a role in Warner's "Superman" redo.

According to News.Com.Au, the actress will play publicity representative Bobbie Faye in the pricey blockbuster. Apparently it's only a small role, but her scene is "crucial to the storyline". Wilson's a Sydney girl, so is probably lovin' the fact she gets to return home to the Harbour City to put mug to lens.

A LITTLE BIZ:
Kodak, Barco link on d-cinema push
Eastman Kodak Co. and projector company Barco announced Wednesday a strategic alliance to facilitate a worldwide rollout of digital cinema. EDITOR'S NOTE: SEVERAL DAYS LATE AND DOLLARS SHORT, UNCLE GEORGE FINALLY GETS HEARD?

The announcement comes a day after Barco competitor Christie announced a deal with AccessIT.

Neither announcement has secure deals in place with studios or exhibitors.

Kodak and Barco say the alliance has two purposes: It enables each company to sell and support complete integrated digital cinema solutions, with Kodak providing digital cinema systems for preshow use and Barco selling its 2K DLP EDITOR'S NOTE: DLP! WOOHOO!!! digital cinema projection systems, and it also allows Kodak and Barco to collaborate on solutions for the future.

Casting directors vote to join Teamsters
Hollywood's casting directors overwhelmingly have voted to become members of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters, completing a organizing process that included the threat of a strike, union officials said Thursday. EDITOR'S NOTE: IS IT JUST ME, OR DID YOU JUST GET AN IMAGE OF A BIG BURLY GUY WITH A CIGAR CASTING A MOVIE?

The final tally showed that the casters voted 243-9 to unionize, setting the stage for them to negotiate a contract with the Alliance of Motion Picture & Television Producers, which represents the major studios and networks.

"We're very pleased by the results," Teamster Local 399 business agent Steve Dayan said. "Now comes the hard part -- we have to sit down and negotiate a collective-bargaining agreement so we can get these guys some medical benefits and the working conditions that they're entitled to."

The AMPTP refused to grant the casters collective-bargaining status but tried to resolve the dispute by offering to address one of the casting directors' chief concerns, health coverage.

With the Teamsters' backing, that was rejected as insufficient and threats were made to walk off the job and have Teamster drivers and location managers respect the picket lines.

In the end, the industry alliance decided in February to leave the decision to the casters in an election supervised by the National Labor Relations Board.

According to Dayan, NLRB officials said it was the smoothest election they've had in 25 years."In light of the election results, we will honor our duty to bargain in good faith," AMPTP spokeswoman Barbara Brogliatti said.

The casting directors likely will get the health and pension they were seeking as well as minimum wages and working conditions, but they also will have to start paying dues and stand ready to support other Teamsters in organizing efforts.

The industry's resistance was fueled by its belief that casting directors are independent contracts who, as a rule, can't legally unionize. The Teamsters maintained that the casters were employees who had an inherent right to unionize.It was left to the NLRB to determine who was eligible based on their work record.

Those members will now be members of Local 399 in Los Angeles and Local 817 in New York. EDITOR'S NOTE: SO LOOK FOR THE UNION LABEL....COME ON!....EVERYBODY SING!

Dylan in exclusive CD deal with Starbucks

Counterculture legend Bob Dylan on Monday became the latest musician to sign up with Starbucks Corp. in an exclusive CD deal that follows the runaway success of a Ray Charles album sold by the coffee maker.

"Dylan: Live at the Gaslight 1962," co-released with Sony BMG Custom Marketing Group, will hit Starbucks coffee shops Aug. 30.

It features 10 previously unreleased tracks from performances at New York's Gaslight Cafe over four decades ago, including "A Hard Rains A-Gonna Fall" and "Don't Think Twice It's Alright."

Starbucks is moving aggressively into the music scene by selling CDs consumers can't buy elsewhere. The company does not disclose how much CD sales add to profits. One analyst said the music business has been more helpful in driving customer traffic than contributing meaningfully to sales. EDITOR'S NOTE: SO GLAD I'M NOT A CHILD OF THE 60'S. SO GLAD I CAME OF AGE IN A MUCH MORE CYNICAL TIME. BECAUSE OTHERWISE, THIS KIND OF NEWS.....DYLAN AND CORPORATE SHILLING....COULD REALLY HAVE A SERIOUSLY DEVASTATING AFFECT ON ME. SO HAPPY I'M SHALLOW.

OTHER STUFF:
How'd you get so mean?
As the summer blockbusters introduce a new bunch of baddies, Leo Benedictus gives a few pointers on what makes the perfect villain

Be British
Sophistication in all its forms is a sure sign of evil, and American audiences find nothing more sophisticated (or untrustworthy) than a snooty Brit.

The British villain industry - whose leading exports include Steven Berkoff, Ian McDiarmid, Gary Oldman, Jeremy Irons, Jonathan Pryce, Anthony Hopkins and many others - is now estimated to be one of the nation's biggest earners. Alan Rickman alone is more valuable than detergents. EDITOR'S NOTE: ESPECIALLY, IF YOU'RE TRYING TO BE EVIL AND DIRTY.

Interestingly, British audiences prefer their evil to originate on the continent. Anyone who looks as if they might start speaking in another language is clearly not to be trusted. Thus, as a counterpoint to James Bond (who would himself be the villain in most Hollywood movies), we have Ernst Stavro Blofeld, foreigner extraordinaire.

Nevertheless, five out of six Blofelds have been played by British actors. Anthony Dawson (who was also the evil metallurgist Professor Dent in Dr No) stroked the cat in From Russia with Love and Thunderball. He was followed by Donald Pleasence (You Only Live Twice), Charles Gray (Diamonds Are Forever) and John Hollis (For Your Eyes Only). Hollis's brief appearance was a clear promotion from his previous roles as henchmen to the masked Klytus in Flash Gordon and treacherous Lando Calrissian in The Empire Strikes Back. EDITOR'S NOTE: OH. THAT'S WHY THE NAME SOUNDED SO FAMILIAR. I WAS JUST ABOUT TO IMDB. (LOBOT).

Europeans themselves, of course, do not realise how evil they are, which can cause problems. In the German version of Die Hard, for instance, the extremely German terrorists are identified only as "European", and the name of Alan Rickman's character had to be changed from Hans Gruber to Jack Gruber. EDITOR'S NOTE: SELF DELUSION, THEY NAME IS HANS.

Take up a hobby
Ideally, of course, this should be something evil, such as drug-taking (Gary Oldman in Leon), lair-building (various) or torture (everyone).

Alternatively, it is good to try to incorporate a harmless hobby into one's work. Bad guys are keen pet lovers, for instance, with snakes, sharks and piranhas always a popular choice. The Batman series, in particular, would never have been possible without the contribution of demented cat, penguin, riddle and coin-tossing hobbyists, among others.

Villains are susceptible to fads too, of course, such as the bomb-making craze of the mid-1990s, when Tommy Lee Jones (Ryan Gaerity in Blown Away), Dennis Hopper (Howard Payne in Speed) and Jeremy Irons (Die Hard With a Vengeance) all played crazed bomb enthusiasts, vainly lecturing the hero on the beauty of explosions. Jones's character spent years rigging up his own lair, an abandoned ship, into one marvellous Heath Robinson-type bomb. Happily, he got to see it blow up. EDITOR'S NOTE: BUT WHEN PUT TO SUCH GOOD USE 'ON THE JOB' AS IT WERE, DOES THE BOMB-MAKING BECOME A VOCATION, AND MORE THAN A HOBBY?

Have a name that scores well in Scrabble
Unusual letters of the alphabet, like all unfamiliar things and people, should be treated with suspicion.

A lot of death could have been avoided if a few people had thought twice about Hugo Drax (Moonraker), Zorg (The Fifth Element), Rene Belloq (Raiders of the Lost Ark), Max Zorin (A View to a Kill) and Xenia Zaragevna Onatopp (Goldeneye).

Sometimes, though, the name is just too obvious. We will have to wait until July to see why Victor von Doom, aka Dr Doom (Fantastic Four, played by Julian McMahon), was not locked up at birth. EDITOR'S NOTE: CAUSE HE'S REALLY REALLY CUTE! DUH.

There is some evidence to suggest that this principle works the other way round, filling perfectly normal people like Max von Sydow and Brian Cox with the urge to be evil on screen, or - in the case of Roman Abramovitch - real life.

More research is needed to discover why.

Feel sorry for yourself
Villains are people, too. Usually, it was only when something went wrong in their life (preferably disfiguring them) that they turned to evil. EDITOR'S NOTE: ALTHOUGH, WHY ASK WHY?

If you or I lost a thumb in our poorly paid bomb-disposal job and then weren't appreciated properly when we retired, we too, like Dennis Hopper's character in Speed, would put a bomb on a lift and demand a giant ransom (with another two on buses, just in case it didn't work).

In the same way, Sean Bean resents being shot in the head at the beginning of Goldeneye, so naturally he hatches a plan to steal a prototype helicopter, hijack a nuclear weapon in space and then use it to rob a bank.

The Bond series, in fact, is positively obsessed with the connection between disfigurement and evil. There is Dr No's prosthetic hand, Largo's eyepatch in Thunderball, Blofeld's scar in You Only Live Twice, Tee Hee's metal arm in Live and Let Die, Scaramanga's third nipple in The Man With the Golden Gun, Jaws's metal teeth in The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker, Renard's bullet in the brain in The World Is Not Enough and Zao's scarred face in Die Another Day. To which we might add that Zorin in A View to a Kill was genetically engineered by Nazis, Franz Sanchez in Licence to Kill suffered from bad acne as a teenager and Goldfinger is clearly overweight. EDITOR'S NOTE: I DON'T THINK HAVING THE DESIRE TO KILL SKINNY PEOPLE SHOULD BE CONSIDERED EVIL. (JUST STATING THIS FOR THE RECORD).

At the risk of being boring, it is also worth pointing out that Zorg in The Fifth Element (played by Gary Oldman) has a metal leg, the Gestapo officer has a branded hand in Raiders of the Lost Ark, and the latest Star Wars film centres on the disfigurement of Darth Sidious and Darth Vader, the most disabled bad guy of them all. Perhaps one day somebody will assemble all these evil prostheses to create the ultimate robo-baddie.

Perhaps not.

Get rich
This is very important. While most extremely rich people limit their evilness to hiring a good tax lawyer and flying everywhere, a true villain, having accumulated his first couple of billion, will build an enormous evil empire, hire the most evil henchmen available and then set about trying to take over the world.

The Green Goblin in Spider-Man, Elliot Carver in Tomorrow Never Dies and Roman Abramovich at Chelsea are good examples.

The starting point for anyone considering a career in villainy, therefore, is to make a lot of money.

One route might be by playing villains in Hollywood. Jack Nicholson, for example, is reputed to have made more money from his role as the Joker than any other actor has ever been paid for any movie (around $60m from a contract that included merchandising). EDITOR'S NOTE: AND THOUGH HE IS NOT BRITISH, HE IS ALSO NOT MUCH OF AN ACTOR (IMHO), SO HE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE EVIL.

Once you are rich, flaunting it is a sure sign of evil intent.

It was hard to imagine what form an evil meteorologist might take until a group of them pulled up with their shiny new vans and started showing off their equipment in Twister. And if you have obscure and expensive tastes, so much the better. Villains eat caviar from endangered species; heroes are happy with bread and butter.

Be Christopher Lee
When a man is 6ft 5in tall, descended from Italian aristocracy, educated at an English public school, a brilliant fencer and golfer, loves opera, speaks French, German, Spanish and Italian, and can "get along" in Swedish, Russian and Greek, you know he is destined for evil. EDITOR'S NOTE: YEAH. I'VE NEVER TRUSTED PEOPLE WHO CAN 'GET ALONG' IN SWEDISH.

Ian Fleming originally wanted Lee, who was a distant relative of his, for the role of Dr No; Lee didn't get the part but went on to become one of the most prolific screen actors of all time. The Internet Movie Database estimates that 85% of his film roles have been villains.

His record, which includes appearances as baddies in the James Bond, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings franchises, will surely never be surpassed. He has played Scaramanga, Frankenstein's monster, Rasputin, the Mummy, Count Dooku (twice), Saruman (several times), Dr Fu Manchu (five times) and Count Dracula (10 times). Other miscellaneous bad guys from the Lee oeuvre include Lord Summerisle in The Wicker Man, the Tong leader in The Terror of the Tongs EDITOR'S NOTE: WHICH HAD TO DO WITH BAD BBQ? and - on one blood-curdling occasion - Prince Philip. How Ralph Fiennes and not Lee bagged Voldemort in the upcoming Harry Potter film remains a mystery. EDITOR'S NOTE: HAVING TO STILL BE AROUND FOR ANOTHER FEW YEARS MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT. (STILL BREATHING SIGHS OF RELIEF ABOUT COUNT DOOKU....). PLUS, HEWHOSHALLYOUKNOWWHAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT 65 OR 70. NOT 90.

Die extravagantly
One of the reasons that villains are so rich is that they have no need for a pension plan, since the position carries a high risk of violent and ironic death.

Thus, if you take an airport hostage in the afternoon (Major Grant in Die Hard 2), you can expect to be sucked into a jet engine before dinner. If you plan to make your fortune by inventing a device that drills holes in battleships in order to start a war that your newspapers can then make a lot of money from reporting on (Elliot Carver in Tomorrow Never Dies, played by Jonathan Pryce), then it would be a good idea not to stand near the drill until everything has worked out. And if you steal the Ark of the Covenant for Germany instead of for America (Rene Belloq in Raiders of the Lost Ark), you must expect to be melted by the Lord.EDITOR'S NOTE: I WAS CHEEZ WHIZ FOR GOD! FONDU FOR THE ALMIGHTY? BUTTER FOR DIOS MIO?

· Batman Begins is out now. Fantastic Four is released on July 22, and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is released on November 18

Muppets move to center stage for Movies.com
Curmudgeons don't come much more lovable than Statler and Waldorf, the grumpy old men who offered unsolicited and witty comments on "The Muppet Show."

Now the puppet duo is getting a regular spot on Movies.com to share their inimitable reviews of upcoming films with online fans.

"Statler and Waldorf -- From the Balcony" kicked off Thursday with their remarks on "Bewitched" and "War of the Worlds."

Besides words, the puppets also have the "Snooze-O-Meter" for ranking a movie's interest level between nodding off during the opening credits to staying awake through the whole film.

Dan Sherlock, Movies.com. vp, said Statler and Waldorf did a screen test of sorts during the Oscars. User traffic and feedback was so positive that a regular feature was created.

New Walk of Famers: Theron, Martin, Broderick
The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce on Friday released the eclectic list of Walk of Fame recipients for 2006 including Annette Bening, Matthew Broderick, Holly Hunter, William Hurt, Nathan Lane, Steve Martin, Charlize Theron, Ray Romano, Isaac Hayes and Motley Crue.

"Each name on this list will bring much happiness to our residents and tourists from around the world," Walk of Fame chairman and Hollywood honorary mayor Johnny Grant said.

Soundtrack honors for Portman, Leiber and Stoller
LONDON -- British composer Rachel Portman, the first woman to win the Oscar for a film score ("Emma") will be honored at the World Soundtrack Awards along with songwriters Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, organizers said Friday.

Portman will present a selection of her scores, including "The Cider House Rules," "Chocolat" and "The Legend of Bagger Vance," at the Oct. 15 event, which is staged as part of the 32nd Flanders International Film Festival.

Downturn affects Movie Gallery
Movie Gallery, the nation's second-biggest video rental chain since merging with Hollywood Entertainment, said that the well-documented slowdown at the boxoffice has seeped into its business as well.

Shares of Movie Gallery dropped more than 15% on Wednesday after CEO Joe Malugen said sales in the second quarter wouldn't meet previous expectations because of "the flow-through of an unimpressive slate of titles" EDITOR'S NOTE: CEO-SPEAK FOR 'THE MOVIES SUCK' THIS YEAR.

Over-45 crowd snapping up DVDs
A lifelong fantasy and sci-fi fan, Jeff Slankard didn't see any of the recent "Star Wars," "Lord of the Rings" or "Harry Potter" movies in theaters, as he would have done before his children, 9 and 2, were born.

But he doesn't feel deprived -- he's got them all on DVD. "They're coming out so soon now," he said. "I really enjoy watching movies at home after the baby's gone to bed. It's not exactly the same experience, but with the new home theater systems, it's pretty darn close."

Slankard, a 52-year-old wine buyer from Oceanside, Calif., is hardly alone. EDITOR'S NOTE: IF HIS ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM IS THAT NICE, MAYBE YOU SHOULD DROP IN, MARGARET, AND WATCH MOVIES WITH HIM!

While much of Hollywood -- and most everyone else -- continues to zero in on the lucrative 18-34 demographic, studio executives say they're seeing a strong uptick in DVD purchasing by the over-45 crowd. EDITORS' NOTE: AND UNTIL WE LOSE OUR TEETH AND KEEL OVER IN OUR TAPIOCA, YOU'D BETTER PAY ATTENTION TO US, DARN IT!

Theater merger may lift independents
But resulting behemoth may result in less choice for movie goers
With Chicago’s two largest movie theater operators set to merge, observers say any theater closings that may be required by federal regulators could offer a boost to independent movie houses but less choice for movie goers.

Earlier, Kansas City-based AMC Entertainment Inc., already the nation’s No. 2 film exhibition company, said it plans to acquire No. 5 Loews Cineplex Entertainment Corp., creating a behemoth with about 450 theaters and about 5,900 screens in 30 states and 13 countries that will rival industry leader Regal Entertainment.

Observers say anti-trust concerns may force the closure or sale of some cinemas.

In the late 1990s, the merger that created Loews Cineplex resulted in 11 theaters being sold in Chicago.

Loews used that opportunity to phase out smaller, obsolete theaters that they would likely have closed anyway, according to Barry Schain, a broker with Next Realty who often handles theater deals. If action is ordered again this time, the remaining smaller theaters would be likely shut rather than sold, given the recent tough market for exhibitors where ticket sales have steadily declined, said David Sikich of Iltis Sikich Associates, a Chicago film booking and distribution company.

Loews’ Pipers Alley, which often shows slightly edgier fare, and Esquire on Oak St. both have only a handful of screens and could be on the block, experts say.

“It could help theaters like the Three Penny which haven’t been able to play with a Pipers Alley," says Mr. Sikich. "They would be able to get more high profile independent movies."

That may have a trickle-down effect for even smaller theaters that see potential hit movies going to other exhibitors.

In recent years independent movies like “Napoleon Dymamite”, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” and “The Blair Witch Project” have brought in big money at the box office . However, independents and art-houses are still waiting for a big hit this year.

“It might mean that we would have a better chance at some first-run films,” that would typically go to larger theaters, says Marty Rubin, program director at the Gene Siskel Film Center. “Right now, Landmark scoops up all the films that Music Box used to get and Music Box scoops up films that we would get.”

But a larger conglomerate with a huge publicity machine controlling so much of the market could result in more show times for profitable box-office blockbusters at the expense of more cutting-edge works.

"It's a bigger T-Rex with a bigger body, a bigger head and a bigger tail that will be able to suck up more of the people that are willing to come out there," said Charles Coleman, the program director at Facets Cinematheque. "They'll probably stack it so that if something does really well, they'll do it on more and more screens." EDITOR'S NOTE: THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY GOOD MOVIES TO GO AROUND. IF PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO SEE WHAT'S PLAYING, AND/OR IF THEY'D RATHER SIT AT HOME WITH THEIR PLASMAS, THE NEWLY-MERGED 300-LB-GORILLA WILL NOT HAVE MUCH CONTROL OVER ANYTHING THAT MATTERS.

In the long run, any boon from the merger may do nothing other than buy independent theaters some time, said Mr. Sikich.

In the greater Chicago area, AMC operates nine locations with 166 screens, including the River East 21 megaplex on Illinois Street. Loews operates 16 locations with 177 screens, including a megaplex at Webster Place and theaters at 600 N. Michigan Ave., near the River East 21, as well as smaller North Side theaters such as Pipers Alley and Esquire.

In Chicago, the chains typically trade off screening box office blockbusters at their largest locations near Michigan Avenue and near Webster and Western — two of the top movie hotspots in the Midwest — say those familiar with the local theater industry. AMC is currently screening “Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith” in its Michigan Avenue area theater, while Loews is showing it at the Webster Place theater.

As for movie goers, analysts say they don’t expect to see ticket prices rise more than the typical 2 or 3 percent per year.

In the long run, consolidation among Chicago’s movie theaters means little for those looking to catch the big summer movies. “Really, this will have no effect on where people go to see Star Wars,” Mr. Schain said. “They don’t go to a company, they go to the movie.” EDITOR'S NOTE: AND UNLESS AN INDIVIDUAL THEATER DOES SOMETHING TO STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD (IMPROVED CONCESSIONS OR SOMETHING), PEOPLE GO TO SEE THE MOVIE AT WHICHEVER THEATER IS CLOSEST.

OOOO...BACK TO THE SUBJECT OF GROWN-UPS, AND WHY WE SHOULD BE PANDERED TO.......

Hollywood risks future by ignoring adults
By Anne Thompson
Let's debunk a popular myth: Grown-ups don't go to the movies.

Truth is, they still go. "Ray," "Million Dollar Baby," "Shall We Dance?" and "The Interpreter" all played primarily to adults. And movies like "Ray" and "Million Dollar Baby" earned their audiences the old-fashioned way: They took their time.

But "Cinderella Man," the most recent film to attempt to court the older-than-35 crowd, is finding that time is a luxury it might not have. Ron Howard's earnest Depression-era boxing drama might have looked like a slam-dunk. Initial audiences liked what they saw, with the film winning a 99% excellent rating from Cinemascore, and a respectable 83% "fresh" rating from the Internet review site rottentomatoes.com. But exit polls told a further part of the story: Fully 50% of the "Cinderella Man" audience was older than 50. That's a serious drawback for a movie that cost some $88 million to make and another $40 million to release because this group can't be counted on to rush to theaters on a movie's first weekend. "Cinderella Man" opened on over 2,800 screens to $18.6 million, landing in fourth place behind three holdovers, and fell 46.8% on its second weekend. EDITOR'S NOTE: I'M REALLY NOT SURE WHAT WENT WRONG WITH "CINDERELLA MAN". IT WAS, IF ANYTHING, OVER PROMOTED. IT'S A VERY GOOD MOVIE, WITH EXCELLENT PERFORMANCES, AND THE REVIEWS WERE QUITE FAVORABLE. MAYBE RUSSELL CROWE'S NYC TEMPER TANTRUM HAD AN AFFECT? OR MAYBE...AND THIS ONE I THINK IS MORE LIKELY....IT OPENED ONE WEEKEND TOO CLOSE TO ROTS?

Releasing a high-profile movie for mature moviegoers at the height of summer, when competition is most intense, was not a brilliant move.

"The farther away you get from age 25, the more difficult," one marketer says. "While the appetite for those films is there all year round, adults don't feel that sense of urgency to see the film. They don't commit, it's crowded, they wait to see it later."

Universal Pictures is now counting on DVDs to salvage "Cinderella Man."

Come late fall, when star Russell Crowe's anger issues will have faded from the public's memory, Universal Studios Home Entertainment will stage a well-funded comeback for the drama (which has grossed a piddling $36 million to date), aimed at both DVD buyers and Oscar voters.

When it comes to DVD consumers, the studios are confident that if they build a strong adult movie, the audience will come.

That feeling does not extend to theatergoers.

For that, the studios have only themselves to blame. They're driving that ever-loyal viewer home to watch HBO or DVDs by not keeping the moviegoing habit going with strong movies aimed at adults.

"The movie business is pushing them away," says producer Sean Daniel, "making them look for other things, like renting all the seasons of 'Six Feet Under.' "

Since the dawn of Hollywood, a wide swath of the American public counted themselves among the faithful: frequent moviegoers.

Through the late 1970s, that throng was dominated by adults. Movie critics wrote their reviews for adults. TV, radio and print ads were targeted at adults. Movies were constructed by adults for adults. Sure, there were always youth-market movies, but they were always ancillary, not primary.

Then came the wide-audience marketing revolution. With each succeeding decade, the Hollywood studios, driven by the relative ease of selling their movies to the dominant demographic (young men under 25) that showed up on opening weekends, increasingly aimed their movies at less demanding kids. Slowly but surely, they decreased the number of movies for more discerning grown-ups, leaving that headache to the likes of Miramax Films' Harvey Weinstein, who specialized in building the drumbeat of year-end accolades that accompanies an Oscar campaign.

When the studios produce movies that adults might enjoy, like "The Bourne Identity," "Seabiscuit" or "Gladiator," they try to make sure that the younger demo will like them too. It has become rare to greenlight a big-budget studio movie aimed squarely at the older-than-30 set.

But the studios that take that gamble often score: "Fried Green Tomatoes," "Driving Miss Daisy," "Cocoon," "The First Wives Club," "Training Day," "Grumpy Old Men," "The Truman Show" and "Braveheart" all come to mind, along with a laundry list of Clint Eastwood movies.

But these movies were surprise breakouts; they didn't start out as summer tentpoles or wear their self-importance on their sleeve. They had time to earn word-of-mouth and media attention.

"Clearly older audience movies have to be made for a price," says one studio marketing chief, "by a director who will deliver the product."

The real trick for these movies is to give them enough time to grow legs. (Not the studios' strong suit.)

Take "Crash," which has earned $44 million for Lions Gate Films since it opened May 6 on 1,500 screens. It is scoring with the same cinemagoer that loves "Cinderella Man," but at a fraction of "Cinderella Man's" print and ad costs. That means that it can afford to hang in for the long haul, even in the summer. It's playing and playing and playing, much the way "Sideways" did last year. That movie cost $16 million and grossed $71.5 million in North America.

Obviously, "Cinderella Man" is a different species. It's an A-list top-of-the-line studio movie from Imagine Entertainment, the Tiffany production label on the Universal lot. It's from the so-called "Fab Four" who brought you "A Beautiful Mind": Howard, Crowe, producer Brian Grazer and writer Akiva Goldsman.

This means that "Cinderella Man" can't afford to be modest about anything: budget, star, marketing campaign, release, PR, expectations. No wonder one of the best actors of our time lost his temper after he failed to deliver a $30 million weekend.

At least Crowe appeals to the adult crowd. When 20th Century Fox cast a Orlando Bloom, a young actor with a primarily female audience, in Ridley Scott's big-budget spectacle "Kingdom of Heaven," the studio failed to broaden the film's mature appeal. Unless a movie pulls viewers from all four quadrants, it can't afford to cost $110 million.

There's no reason why the studios can't keep making smart movies just for grown-ups. They just need economies of scale: Put Tom Cruise in "Magnolia," Jim Carrey in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," George Clooney in "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" Russell Crowe in "Cinderella Man" -- just don't pay their action movie prices.

That way a beautiful movie about a lovable boxer can hang in theaters long enough to catch on with the slowpokes.

They still flock to theaters when they're given something to see, like the independent "The Passion of the Christ" or "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." And they turned up for all five of last year's best picture Oscar contenders (all indie-financed, even when studios eventually distributed them).

As more and more people settle into the Netflix habit, the studios might regret letting that sophisticated audience slip away. EDITOR'S NOTE: DUH. YA THINK?! They need people to go to theaters to establish their titles in the first place. They need real people in seats to validate the titles they spent so much to create. (This will become harder as the DVD window gets shorter.)

The audience that can't be counted on to stay loyal is playing with gizmos and gadgets and video games and computers and cell phones. The younger demo could lose the frequent moviegoing habit. That's when the movie business will need adults again. If they haven't already fallen in love with their fancy home entertainment centers. EDITOR'S NOTE: WHICH ARE GETTING FANCIER AND MORE AFFORDABLE AND MOVIE THEATERS STAND STILL ----- TECHNOLOGICALLY AND IN EVERY OTHER RESPECT AS WELL.

Individual brain cells 'recognize' celebrities
Halle Berry? Jennifer Aniston?

Everybody knows them.

And now a surprising study finds that even individual cells in your brain act as if they recognize them.

The work could help shed light on how the brain stores information, an expert said.

When scientists sampled brain cell activity in people who were scrutinizing dozens of pictures, they found some individual cells that reacted to a particular celebrity, landmark, animal or object. In one case, a single cell was activated by different photos of Berry, including some in her "Catwoman" costume, a drawing of her and even the words, "Halle Berry." EDITORS' NOTE: AND YET, I RECOGNIZE ALMOST NO ONE AT PARTIES, AND IT TOOK 3 MEETINGS TO REMEMBER WHAT MY BOSS LOOKS LIKE.

Lewton Horrors on DVD


Warners plans separate, box set releases

Just in time for Halloween, Warner Home Video has announced that the complete VAL LEWTON HORROR COLLECTION will be available on DVD October 4. These horror classics have been out of print since their release in a laserdisc box set in the 1990s, and with the addition of all new extras, should prove to be the must-have item of the season for every horror fan.

Lewton was the innovative producer put in charge of RKO’s B-movie unit in the 1940s, and he’s credited with putting a landmark creative vision to work on them. The horror pictures he produced, mostly working from studio enforced exploitation titles, favored suggestion, shadows and psychological techniques to produce chills on a low budget. They sparked the careers of directors like Robert Wise and Jacques Tourneur, while giving quality roles to established horror stars like Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi.

The series will include these double feature discs:
CAT PEOPLE / CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE, with commentraks by horror movie historian Gregory Mank and audio interview excerpts from star Simone Simon.

I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE / THE BODY SNATCHER, with commentrak by Kim Newman and Steve Jones on ZOMBIE, and Steve Haberman and director Robert Wise on SNATCHER.

ISLE OF THE DEAD / BEDLAM, with commentrak by Tom Weaver on BEDLAM.

These three discs will also be available in a box set with two exclusive bonus discs.

The first disc will hold THE LEOPARD MAN (including commentrak with William Friedkin) and GHOST SHIP. The final disc will hold THE SEVENTH VICTIM (with commentrak by Steve Haberman) and a new documentary feature SHADOWS IN THE DARK: THE VAL LEWTON LEGACY.

THE BIG PICTURE
Original concept? Sorry, we'll pass
As multiplexes fill with an avalanche of remakes and sequels, attendance is headed to its lowest level since 1996.

By Patrick GoldsteinTimes Staff WriterJune 28, 2005

Imagine a 23rd century historian, lounging in a cozy oxygenated yurt on the third moon of Jupiter, puzzling over one of the great enigmas of the early 21st century: Why in a time of so much dazzling technological innovation, from the iPod to the cellphone camera, were so many gifted filmmakers retreating into the past, devoting their time to remaking flimsy old TV shows and movies?

If you wanted to see something "new and original" this past weekend — and I can't stress the use of those quotes enough — here's what the studios had to offer.

You could see "Herbie: Fully Loaded," a Disney remake of the 1969 comedy "The Love Bug."

You could see "Bewitched," the Will Ferrell and Nicole Kidman-starring remake of the popular 1960s TV show.

Or you could see "George Romero's Land of the Dead," the fourth installment in Romero's "Night of the Living Dead" series.

And, boy, is there more to come.

Steven Spielberg's "War of the Worlds" arrives this week. On July 15 comes Tim Burton's reworking of "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory," followed closely by a remake of "The Bad News Bears" and "The Dukes of Hazzard."

It's impossible to pick up Variety without discovering a new remake heading for the runway.

Since early May, the following remakes have been announced: "All of Me," "The Heartbreak Kid," "Adventures in Babysitting," "Day of the Dead," "Porky's" and "Swiss Family Robinson," plus two TV shows, "Underdog" and "The Persuaders."

Is it any wonder this avalanche of retreads has come at a time when theater attendance is headed toward its lowest level since 1996? EDITOR'S NOTE: INTERESTING THEORY. PROBABLY ONLY A VERY SMALL PART OF THE ISSUE, THOUGH. (I MEAN, THERE ARE ONLY A COUPLE OF STORIES, AND THEY GET REHASHED THRU ALL RECORDED TIME. AND HUMANITY IS USED TO THAT....KINDA FINDS IT REASSURING, ACTUALLY).

Young moviegoers, who make up the bulk of film audiences, crave surprise, sensation and authenticity. EDITOR'S NOTE: BOY HOWDY IS THAT GIVING 'YOUNG MOVIEGOERS' WAY TOO MUCH CREDIT. FOR ONE THING, MOST OF THEM WOULDN'T RECOGNIZE WHAT'S A RE-DO AND WHAT'S NEW, IF IT FELL ON THEM FROM THE TOP OF THE IMAX. LONG-VIEW HISTORY AIN'T EXACTLY SELLING IN TODAY'S CULTURE, HMMMM?

So if the multiplexes are full of homogenized pop baubles, why wouldn't more people than ever be happy to stay home and fire up a DVD on their new plasma-screen TV?

The problem with remakes is that, for the most part, they are made by committee, ensuring that daring or subversive material rarely makes it onto the screen. EDITOR'S NOTE: THAT ISN'T A FUNCTION OF SOMETHING BEING A REMAKE; THAT'S A PROBLEM IN HOLLYWOOD IN GENERAL.

When Scott Frank was hired to write the remake of 20th Century Fox's "Flight of the Phoenix," he took the story in a dark, character-driven direction. But the studio balked.

"They said that kind of film wasn't salable," he explains. "They saw it as an action film about guys being attacked by Bedouins."

Of course, the more "salable" version flopped anyway.

If a movie ends up with a squishy-soft center, which seems to be the dominant aesthetic of Hollywood remakes — don't offend anyone, guys! We're making disposable entertainment here! — then why would anyone feel a pressing need to rush out and brave the crowds on opening weekend? EDITOR'S NOTE: THIS IS A PROBLEM IN RADIO AND TV PROGRAMMING AS WELL. IT HAS TO DO WITH THE CORPORATIZATION OF AMERICA AND BIG COMPANY DEBT LOAD.

"You'd think it would be a given that you'd want to go to a theater and be surprised," says Wall Street Journal critic Joe Morgenstern. "But the studios are frightened by newness. And, more scarily, audiences seem to feel the same way. Most of the remakes are so ponderous and overblown that the foundations of the original film can't carry the weight. You don't walk out singing the theme song, you hear the studio's notes — make it louder, make it faster, let us hear the woofer's woof."

It's unfair to simply blame the studios for this impasse.

Many of today's movie revivals are being directed by gifted filmmakers who presumably have the clout to avoid being dragooned into refurbishing a musty movie gathering dust in the studio vaults.

Peter Jackson has a new remake of "King Kong" coming this Christmas. Michael Mann is remaking "Miami Vice," his old TV series. Before "Chocolate Factory," Burton remade "Planet of the Apes." Steven Soderbergh did "Ocean's Eleven" and its sequel, "Ocean's Twelve." Bryan Singer, after doing a sequel to "X-Men," is now directing "Superman Returns." Jonathan Demme did "The Manchurian Candidate" and "The Truth About Charlie," a reworking of "Charade."

Trust me, I could go on — and on. It's the curse of our time.

Civilization has miraculously survived into the 21st century only to expend most of its creative energy reliving the past.

Hollywood is hardly the only corner of our culture infected with the remake virus.

Broadway has been living off of revivals of old shows for years.

Every time I turn on the TV there's another installment of "CSI" or "Law & Order."

Pop music is overrun by "American Idol"-style covers of old hits while Alanis Morissette is remaking "Jagged Little Pill."

Even the Gap is running ads with Joss Stone wailing "The Right Time," a hit nearly 30 years before she was born.

Have we really run out of fresh ideas? Or do we simply live in an era of cultural re-entrenchment, in which audiences prefer to be soothed rather than stimulated, tickled with feathers of familiarity instead of being challenged with unsettling visions?

After all, the reason studios are scared stiff about making serious dramas today is because audiences have refused to go see them. EDITOR'S NOTE: A BIT OF AN UNFAIR GENERALIZATION, DON'T YOU THINK? VERY GOOD STUFF GETS AUDIENCES. BUT NOT EVERYTHING CAN BE A $200 MILLION DOLLAR 'BLOCKBUSTER', AND TRYING FOR THAT CREATES UNREASONABLE EXPECTATIONS.

To hear the studio chiefs tell it, remakes are a way to actually make films about subjects they care about.

"We're not doing this cynically,"EDITOR'S NOTE: SNICKER. SUUUUUURRRE. says Sony Pictures Vice Chairman Amy Pascal, who's made "Bewitched" and "Charlie's Angels," with a remake of "Fun With Dick and Jane" due this fall. "Remakes are the best kind of genre film. They allow you to say something without people feeling they're being hit over the head with a message. The core idea within 'Bewitched' is that love and magic are the same thing. It's a great way to tell a love story in a sly, witty way."

Disney production chief Nina Jacobson heartily embraces the studio's remakes of "The Parent Trap," "Freaky Friday" and "Herbie." When I asked why she made the films, she quipped: "It's a very scientific process. They're all the movies I loved as a child."

It scarcely matters that the originals were hardly cinematic classics. "I'd be hard-pressed to even tell you who the original filmmakers were," she says. "But the films each have a great idea that could be approached in a contemporary way."

Jacobson believes that critics — and people like me — are being unfairly snooty about remakes. "There's a certain snobbery about what's an appropriate source for a movie idea," she says. "It's fine if it's a book, but not if it's a movie. It's fine if it's a comic book, but not if it's a theme park ride. Everyone scoffed when we made 'Pirates of the Caribbean,' yet it turned out great. The crime is in making a bad movie — that's where you go to jail. There's nothing criminal in searching for the seeds of a good idea wherever you can find it."EDITOR'S NOTE: AMEN!

Fair enough.

If I were compiling my 100 favorite films, there would be plenty of remakes, from Howard Hawks' "His Girl Friday" to Don Siegel's "The Killers" to Brian De Palma's "Scarface." Alfred Hitchcock and Hawks remade their own movies all the time — in fact, Hawks remade "Rio Bravo" twice.

But Hitchcock and Hawks' remakes came after decades of exploring original material.

Today, too many gifted young filmmakers are recycling material right from the start.Robert Rodriguez, for example, made "Desperado," his first sequel to "El Mariachi," when he was 27. Since then, he's made a third installment in that series as well as three entries in his "Spy Kids" series. His latest film, "Sin City," was such a numbingly faithful re-creation of Frank Miller's graphic novel series that it felt like a remake, not an original film. EDITOR'S NOTE: OH PULEEZ. SO BECAUSE IT WAS A FAITHFUL ADAPTATION, IT IS THEREFORE BAD? FOR THOSE OF US RELATIVELY UNEXPOSED TO MILLER'S GRAPHIC NOVEL SERIES, IT FELT QUITE REFRESHING, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Too often, today's remakes are a convenient means to plug a brand name into the studio's movie calendar, the entire process working backward from a coveted summer release date.

Right now, Warner Bros. is cobbling together "The Poseidon Adventure," which is considered such a valuable remake asset that it already has a release date — May 5, 2006 — even though it hasn't started filming. So far the studio has thrown at least seven writers into the breach, ranging from big-shots like Akiva Goldsman and Paul Attanasio to hot newcomers like D.B. Weiss and Mark Protosevich. To make its release schedule, the studio plans to have director Wolfgang Petersen filming practically 24 hours a day in Mexico, with a second-unit crew shooting at night while the main production unit handles the daytime hours.

Hey, are they making a movie or building a Blue Line tunnel to LAX?

Not every movie can be an artistic triumph, but moviegoers deserve better.

They're already beginning to demand it.

CNN did an online poll Friday, asking what movie people were most likely to see over the weekend. The new films "Herbie," "Bewitched" and "Land of the Dead" received 27% of the vote.

The landslide winner, with 73%, was "None, I'd rather rent a DVD of something good."

Isn't it wonderful when a business has so many satisfied customers? EDITOR'S NOTE: I'M SORRY, BUT IN TODAY'S CURRENT STUPID-PEOPLE-RUNNING-THE-WORLD ENVIRONMENT, A PLURALITY OF DUNCES IS NOT AN IMPRESSIVE STATISTIC TO ME TO BACK UP A SHAKY, AND TERRIBLY OVER-SIMPLIFIED THESIS.

SO THERE!