Friday OddBob'bing

EDITOR'S NOTE: REMEMBER. ODDBOB KNOWS WHERE I LIVE, SO I HAVE TO INCLUDE THESE, WELL...ODD...THINGS HE FINDS. BUT THEY'RE NOT MY FAULT, REALLY THEY'RE NOT.

The Top 10 SF Haiku
10> Our top five haiku: They suck like a rogue black hole, Worse than Vogon poems.

9> Marvin's not happy. Brain the size of a planet. Hates this poem, too.

8> Star Trek fan fiction: Kirk, Spock together naked. Gods, I might vomit.EDITOR'S NOTE: AN IMAGE THAT IS NOW BURNED INTO MY BRAIN FOR ALL ETERNITY. EGAD.

7> None of this is real. It's all in Philip Dick's head. He liked to use drugs.

6> Total rewrite of "Battlestar Galactica"? I liked the first one.EDITOR'S NOTE: THIS ONE'S FOR BECKY.

5> Easier it is When imitating Yoda To write a haiku.EDITOR'S NOTE: LOL!!!

4> Soon I leave the Earth, The stars my destination. But first, a brothel.

3> Greetings, cheerleader! Be awed by my fake Spock ears. Let us pon farr now.EDITOR'S NOTE: AND THE COMPANION PIECE TO THIS ONE, WHICH HAS TO DO WITH THE ENTIRE FOOTBALL TEAM PUREE'ING THE POOR DORK IN A BLENDER.

2> Chekov reports in, "Klingons off the starboard bow!" Same as last week's show.

and the Number 1 SF Haiku...

1> Palpatine, a Sith? Blind have the Jedi become! Screwed, we are now, hmmmm?EDITOR'S NOTE: FUNNY, AND ALSO DWEEBISHLY TRUE. GENIUS!

The Top 8 Hollywood Excuses to Get Out of Speeding Tickets
8> "I'm a celebrity, your laws don't apply to me."

7> "I'm running for my life from the Vibe Awards!"

6> "I don't want to be late for the Eisner lynching."

5> "But I'm Ben Affleck-- wait! PLEASE DON'T SHOOT!!!"

4> "I thought you were Stallone trying to get me to finance 'Tango & Cash 2.'"

3> "It's a medical emergency! Michael Moore needs a chili dog, and he needs one now!"

2> "Will someone please escort this officer off the set of 'The Fast and the Furious III'??"

and the Number 1 Hollywood Excuse to Get Out of a Speeding Ticket...

1> "Not now, officer, my fifteen minutes are nearly up!"