ODDBOB (not my fault)

EDITOR’S NOTE: AS EVER, THE MANAGEMENT TAKES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR INJURIES INCURRED TO HEALTH OR MENTAL WELL-BEING FROM THE PERUSAL OF OUR ODD-BOB FEATURE.

The Top 9 Surprises in the New Willy Wonka Movie
9> Willy Wonka gets drunk and trashes a hotel room.

8> Huge duel between Willy and Count Chocula.

7> Archetypal "bad" kids with gold tickets now include an Xbox addict and a trenchcoat mafioso.

6> Charlie's first move upon taking over the company is to fire the Oompa Loompas and outsource manufacturing to a plant in China.

5> Augustus Gloop? Slimmed down on Atkins.

4> In the dramatic flying elevator scene, Willy dangles Charlie from the railing.EDITOR’S NOTE: I HATE MYSELF FOR GIGGLING AT THIS ONE.

3> Morgan Freeman as Willy Wonka's narrating best friend.

2> Willy Wonka has the Keebler elves locked away deep in his chocolaty dungeon. EDITOR’S NOTE: FINALLY!

and the Number 1 Surprise in the New Willy Wonka Movie...

1> At the end, the ship sinks and Charlie dies on a floating piece of graham cracker.

The Top 5 Cartoon Character Euphemisms for Death
5> Doonesburied

4> Lining the Bird Cage

3> Chillin' with Walt

2> Took the Ol' Kryptonite Suppository (Superman)

and Number 1 Cartoon Character Euphemism for Death...

1> Scooby-Done

EDITOR'S NOTE: SINCE IT'S FRIDAY, AT LEAST YOU HAVE THE WEEKEND TO RECOVER? (UNLIKE THOSE OF US WHO ACTUALLY HAVE TO SPEND FACE-TIME WITH THE ODDBOBSTER. IN PERSON!)

FEEL OUR PAIN.......